Breath of the Passing Warrior

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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SirFleshwound
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Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by SirFleshwound » August 2nd, 2012, 8:55 am

The Breath of the Passing Warrior

Flesh sinew glass hot steel and bone, Life’s blood swallowed by dust and sand.
A misguided faith that must atone, ancient vengeance is at hand.
Deep within the deserts timeless mystery, where countless wars consumed myriad souls.
Each grain betrays mankind’s bitter history, as the dark reaper calls out the bloody roll.
The ghost of warriors old and new, whisper warnings on warm mistrals breath.
Many brave young knights have fought for you, our freedom spelled out their death.
I raise my sword in a steel salute, to all ye who did the ferryman pay.
Your sacrifice…eternal tribute, Old soldiers ne’er die, they only fade away.
Last edited by SirFleshwound on September 2nd, 2012, 10:19 am, edited 1 time in total.



everhopeful
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Re: Re: Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by everhopeful » September 2nd, 2012, 4:35 am

A poignant tribute which doesn't glorify the horror of war, only those who give their last breath because of it. Interesting presentation and structure too, it's effectively a cross rhyming poem, but the long lines make that rhyming feel like an internal rhyme rather than just an end rhymed one.
Congratulations on the spotlight.



karrie
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Re: Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by karrie » September 6th, 2012, 7:17 am

This captivated me! Such a wonderful write.



Sasha
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Re: Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by Sasha » September 6th, 2012, 10:04 am

Excellent writing! And just beautifully and effectively written, especially with a sensitive theme that includes sacrifices and death. Yet, that ending line is just stunning as this piece is!

Congratulation on the deserved Spotlight!

Sash



JingleBelle
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Re: Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by JingleBelle » September 7th, 2012, 12:14 am

This is excellent. I could not possibly imagine a soldiers plight, but you have described it to me well.


Eventually, I ventured into free verse.

New Poem: For You

gooseberry
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Re: Breath of the Passing Warrior

Post by gooseberry » September 7th, 2012, 4:56 pm

This is a masterful piece and totally deserving of the spotlight.Bravery,sacrifice and tragedy,it is all here in brilliantly woven words!!


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