Walk Away
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Look beyond this nondescript door;
see the crumpled sheets
spotted with my indecencies.
Rip away this virgin canvas
to reveal a history of wrongs,
strewn across the chapters
charting my story.
Delve under waxen skin
and taste the brittle resolve
in my bones, the reckless urgency
coursing in networks of veins.
Or disregard the pitiful summons,
be ignorant of my cowering depths
and the landscape inscribed within;
refuse my shameful, secret, sinking faces.
Perhaps this is wise,
perhaps you shall stay.
see the crumpled sheets
spotted with my indecencies.
Rip away this virgin canvas
to reveal a history of wrongs,
strewn across the chapters
charting my story.
Delve under waxen skin
and taste the brittle resolve
in my bones, the reckless urgency
coursing in networks of veins.
Or disregard the pitiful summons,
be ignorant of my cowering depths
and the landscape inscribed within;
refuse my shameful, secret, sinking faces.
Perhaps this is wise,
perhaps you shall stay.
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Re: Walk Away
So much we hide beyond our own doors. The secrets, insecurities, the faults and everything else we want to the world never to see. I love the way you ended this, sort of like an invitaion or an open ended question...
I really enjoyed this piece! Well done.....indeed!
-LMB
xoxo
I really enjoyed this piece! Well done.....indeed!
-LMB
xoxo
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Re: Walk Away
This is powerful poetry. You use language not as a tool, but as a sword, 'cause there was something about the phrasing here that cut right through me. It has a brutal edge to it and I was totally drawn into the emotion and the moment you caught. It's really great work! I look forward to reading more from you.
Lily^^
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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Re: Walk Away
There is a defiant challenge to this richly composed poem that captures attention. A unashamed expose of all our flaws for the world to see. This screams...'take me as I am'. Very wholesome and a pleasure to read. Congratulations on the spotlight.
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Re: Walk Away
"Delve under waxen skin
and taste the brittle resolve
in my bones, the reckless urgency
coursing in networks of veins."
This coursed right through to the reader's heart...very telling, like telling on oneself...There is no doubt that this deserved the Spotlight...An excellent write....CONGRATULATIONS! Musie
and taste the brittle resolve
in my bones, the reckless urgency
coursing in networks of veins."
This coursed right through to the reader's heart...very telling, like telling on oneself...There is no doubt that this deserved the Spotlight...An excellent write....CONGRATULATIONS! Musie
- songofmeadow
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Re: Walk Away
The choice of words that initially draw the reader in are compounded in the ensuing lines, one to read over and enjoy/cringe at the relationship complexities, well done on the spotlight mx
Latest...
Re: Walk Away
An interesting write, most certainly, with well thought-out imagery and metaphor, in good, poetic language.
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Re: Walk Away
Dark thoughts, but introspection is the path toward enlightenment...of course, enlightenment is the path towards unhappiness! Congrats on the spotlight! Great piece! - Dew
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Re: Walk Away
You have a really powerful descriptive style on show here, and it unravels in a way which is incredibly vivid and indicative of a character who carries a lot of emotional baggage with them. The sense of physical elements in their life bearing the weight of emotional scarring is intriguing and gives this poem a harsh tone and heavy atmosphere.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
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Re: Walk Away
Quite a powerful piece of writing,enough to feed any imagination. Congratulations on being Spotlighted,
dornicks
dornicks
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Re: Walk Away
A powerful exposé of our personal weaknesses, tempered with a feeling that all is not lost, as recognition is as important as redemption. I liked the philosophy, as well as the language.
Congratulations on the Spotlight.
Norman
Congratulations on the Spotlight.
Norman
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Re: Walk Away
Stunning imagery as you make the reader be absorbed by each line. Heartbreaking work that was excellently worded.
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
Sash
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
Sash
- Jovel320
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Re: Walk Away
You've exposed the nakedness of your soul for all to view and a final plea not to walk away. In language that renders you victim to the others the answer seems very important
Enjoyed!!!!
Jovel320
Enjoyed!!!!
Jovel320