"Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

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blueinferno07
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"Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by blueinferno07 » March 1st, 2013, 1:21 am

I.
It is five minutes to sunrise on a chilly November night.
You approach an old, decrepit church
with a fantastic, albeit crumbling, steeple.
Stare, transfixed like a fly in the sun.
Fascinated, run your fingers across the large brass handle,
etched with muddy, rusted ivory.
Hypnotized, in awe, turn the handle and push the door.
The threshold is decaying; step with cautious purpose.
Several candles dot the cobwebbed altar; somehow they burn
dripping thick lines of wax upon the dusty floor,
like boiling drops of rain.
There are no pews.
Instead, the chapel is littered
with grand four poster beds draped in satin sheets.
Beleaguered, weary, dejected,
in search of some sanctuary, lay before the altar
and dream…

II.
A large snow covered clearing,
wherein there stands a forgotten headstone.
You open your eyes to find yourself on the ground,
sprawled beneath a looming stone angel.
In your right hand, you clutch a blade
and from your right side
you paint the fresh white snow
in a lightly rusted red.
Something dark, a shadow not your own,
sprawls threateningly over the clearing.
The sun's usual harmless yellow rays
have been eclipsed a dark black,
hidden behind the passing moon.
Straining your ears, you can hear the baying of a hungry wolf,
part of you wishing it would find you,
maybe devour what little is left.
Lonely and forgotten,
you lay wounded at the foot of your own grave.
Only you have the stifled insight to decide
whether you are still alive,
or merely a specter trapped in reality.

III.
Remnants of hope sway in the breeze
to the rhythm of another passing day.
Effigies of transformation loom
soaked in gasoline and hungry for flame.
Five minutes to sunrise,
so let us sleep forever.
Five minutes to sunrise,
and may our eyes never open.
Five minutes to sunrise,
and the nightmares can't reach us here.
Five minutes to sunrise,
be silent, you belong to me.



ladymaybebaby
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by ladymaybebaby » March 1st, 2013, 9:21 am

Simply, wow! I loved this, truly! A gorgeous piece of writing, jeez I was sad to see it end! Every thing is this piece works perfectly! There is not one mistep or even the slightest blip... it's just done with such talent and it shows in each line! Wonderful!

-LMB
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everhopeful
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by everhopeful » March 1st, 2013, 3:40 pm

Very heavy on the religious motifs in this one, as well as some images and themes symbolic of death, all contained within a poem which has a dream like element to it. You have a very deliberate descriptive style which made this a fairly smooth read, even though longer poems like this can sometimes trail off, I think you maintained the sense of atmosphere throughout.
An intriguing and enjoyable read.



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by AliMariesDad » March 1st, 2013, 4:17 pm

I agree with e.h. on the dream-like atmosphere of this poem. I love the imagery, and the allegory contained within it. I also agree with lmb that this is a wonderfully crafted poem. Exquisite!
AMD



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by queenjellybean » March 24th, 2013, 4:12 am

This was amazing. I was drawn into the poem from the first line, and was completely immersed. The great attention to detail/imagery, the engaging narration, the overarching themes, all of these elements worked terrifically in this. Thank you so much for sharing this, and congratulations on the spotlight!



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by songofmeadow » March 24th, 2013, 6:11 am

Well deserved spotlight, the original detail and imagery are just too compelling not to keep reading, a poem that reels out like a film in the reader's mind! mx


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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by knpoet » March 24th, 2013, 9:38 am

I'm always in awe of the palpable pictures that can be drawn with some well-chosen words, images that stay in your mind long after the words are forgotten, so that you revisit the scene again and again in your night-time imaginings, unable to escape the spell woven in your memory. This is one such poem, mesmerizing and compelling in its mastery, no wonder this was chosen for the Spotlight! Congratulations, blueinfeno07,well-deserved!

Kathy


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by ladymaybebaby » March 24th, 2013, 10:33 am

Just stopping back in to say congratulations on the spotlight pick, it is much deserved! I loved this the first time I read it, and it was just as sweet to read it again!

-LMB
xoxo


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tangerinepie
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by tangerinepie » March 24th, 2013, 3:58 pm

This poem has all the elements of supreme power writing..stark in it's themes,it has so many symbolic visuals that are intriguing and challenging to the readers interpretations.Clever and well formatted, It is an amazing write.A wonderful spotlight choice, so well deserved..TY..Tangie..


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blueinferno07
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by blueinferno07 » March 25th, 2013, 12:36 am

Thank you all so much :) I am humbled, I appreciate all the kindness.



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by created2write » March 25th, 2013, 2:30 pm

Congratulations on the Spotlight which is definitely where this belongs. I immersed in the word flow and came up satisfied. Peace


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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by whubbard7 » March 25th, 2013, 11:48 pm

Good Good Good! Very well written, love all the imagery. Nice job and well deserved Spotlight... Keep it up!
~WH7


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~My soul

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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by Dew » March 26th, 2013, 7:42 pm

As always, ever a fan of your creatively symbolic imagery...for me, the images exaggerated a self-awareness that refuses to be blinded to itself anymore...a looming realization of truth that both excites and horrifies! Just my own take on your creamy words! - dew



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by SirFleshwound » March 27th, 2013, 9:22 am

What a beautifully crafty piece of writing and chosen correctly for the spotlight. The opening line introduces a subtle expectancy and hints at the paranoia that races in the 3rd act. The rich descriptive writing reminds me of those dreams where you feel you are being chased or are somehow out of time. The references of moon, wolf and sunrise touch on the human fears and fables and leave the reader huge scope to explore. Congratulations.



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by Sasha » March 27th, 2013, 3:53 pm

I love the transition in here, like you move the reader to the next part, taking thoughts from the first stanza and complete weaving them in the second with wonderful descriptive quality, to get lost (in a good way) in the ending stanza.
Absorbing read, and worthy Spotlight, Congratulations!

Sash



blueinferno07
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by blueinferno07 » March 27th, 2013, 4:13 pm

Many thanks everyone :) I truly appreciate it



everhopeful
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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by everhopeful » March 28th, 2013, 4:24 pm

You have a very strong descriptive style and it makes for a great read; I found this as thought provoking second time around, and particularly enjoyed the grand, climatic finale.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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Re: "Five Minutes to Sunrise Parts I, II, and III"

Post by dornicks » March 30th, 2013, 4:47 pm

This sends the imagination racing and is deserving of it's place in the Spotlight. A good read,

dornicks


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