Blinded by the Truth

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highway62
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Blinded by the Truth

Post by highway62 » August 10th, 2013, 11:06 pm

I lay amongst the hills of shattered dreams. As the valley cries I hear it scream between the dark unordered pillars of the mountain's stark, majestic beams. From here it seems, the sky reflects the silhouettes of cold regrets and wets them in the streams of light, which once had captured stars in flight, now flowing fast and flashing past my weary, troubled head. A body broke by feelings dead. Your ghost beside me in this bed of life that I have made. Strong as ice but still afraid, that heat of tongues will part me with an oral blade, and melt away your comfort's shade. I prayed in times of better mind, to fool my heart that I was blind, to never hear or ever find, the hatred held but not opined, the truth that long since strayed.

I watched as wheels of wisdom spun, their revolutions missed my turn, they spoke like raging fires of sun, but in the end they came undone. They burned as I had hoped and thought, to free me from the rope and knot that clung around my throat and sought, to see me hung when I was caught. I fought for years through rain of tears, through winds of hurt, through pain and fears, to only hear the promised voice, present me with a change of choice: "face your fears, or else rejoice".

Solemnly I carried on, through the tunes of night and beats of dawn, I mingled with the birds of song, who whistled hymns of sorrow. I waited years for one tomorrow, a cavalcade of love to follow, but finding truth too hard to swallow, I made my home in the hollow of a windward brae. Now as you pass I raise a glass in awe of this clear day. I sip the lies I heard you say, drink them down with ease and lay, back amongst the hills to stay.


Only your eyes are unclosed to see the black and folded town fast, and slow, asleep.

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AnIdeasman
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by AnIdeasman » August 12th, 2013, 3:44 am

A remarkable use of poetic prose here, I love the rhythm. Some(if not most) of these lines show a very deep level of thought, which is captured by your flair with the English language.
The last paragraph really shines, It makes me think of the harshness of reality...how heavy of a burden it can be, though I may just be carrying on. What a truly remarkable piece of writing this is. Well done.



everhopeful
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by everhopeful » August 13th, 2013, 12:14 pm

I recall reading prose work from you in the past which utilises a similarly lyrical style, with an inherent feel of poetry throughout. I think what is most impressive about this is how heavily layered the imagery is with metaphorical depth. There's an element of personification to the environmental descriptions, to the point where it feels like the environment is coloured by the narrator's own 'shattered dreams'.
A well constructed piece.



highway62
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by highway62 » August 13th, 2013, 12:42 pm

Thanks for your feedback folks, glad you liked it. I really enjoy writing in this style of prose, I'll surely write more!


Only your eyes are unclosed to see the black and folded town fast, and slow, asleep.

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sparky21737
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by sparky21737 » September 2nd, 2013, 3:56 am

Wow, just wow. The rhyming was amazing and the flow was just amazing. The descriptions created a clear image in the readers mind. Thanks for sharing :)


Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light ~ Albus Dumbledore

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platinummoon
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by platinummoon » September 2nd, 2013, 6:38 am

I truly loved and enjoyed your poetic prose. It reads like the sagas of old.



Shang
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by Shang » October 9th, 2013, 8:04 pm

This is a beautifully crafted piece. Thanks for sharing!



Loki'sMischief
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by Loki'sMischief » November 15th, 2013, 11:12 pm

I love your style. It's lyrical and vivid. This was an impressive piece of prose. I really liked how smoothly the lines flow together. The rhythm is consistent from beginning to end. Very much enjoyed.


"Writing is a struggle against silence." ~Carlos Fuentes

arthurkelly49
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by arthurkelly49 » January 19th, 2014, 2:25 pm

I love the way you crafted the internal rhyme but kept it as prose and i truly appreciated the language you used, so rich and poetic.

Yours Sincerely

Arthur


....I am who I am despite my past - not because of it......(me 1990).

jwesley
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by jwesley » January 19th, 2014, 3:58 pm

Very much enjoyed this piece, my friend, and the rhyming was superb ! Of course the story it tells was perfect too. Congrats on the Spotlight...

j.



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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by dwells » January 19th, 2014, 4:49 pm

Awesome piece here in the Spotlight Highway, and there was definitely an embedded rhyme scheme that became contagious as it progressed, but never predictable (something only a talented write can do). I've done similar on poetry rough drafts by just letting the rhyme take me to unexpected places. But then in the formulaic adherence it sometimes get lost again on successive edits. Very much enjoyed this worthy bit of artistry, cheers!


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highway62
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by highway62 » January 19th, 2014, 5:01 pm

Really glad you guys enjoyed it, and in the spotlight too, that's great! I'll write more soon.
Last edited by highway62 on January 20th, 2014, 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.


Only your eyes are unclosed to see the black and folded town fast, and slow, asleep.

karrie
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by karrie » January 19th, 2014, 9:33 pm

This is truly lovely! Much enjoyed and congratulations on the well deserved spotlight!



JASON
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by JASON » January 20th, 2014, 8:30 am

Fantastic: If you read well - this should definitely be a spoken piece...
The rise and fall of the lines are splendid -I found myself reading this out loud...
I am so happy I read this today (you have made my week - thank you. :wink: )



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Simran
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by Simran » January 20th, 2014, 1:03 pm

Congratulations on the very well deserved spotlight!
It is an amazing piece for sure. I can just say that I can't agree more with all that has already been said about this fantabulous poetic prose!
Simran :-)



inflames
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by inflames » January 23rd, 2014, 10:56 pm

This is beautiful. I love the rhythm and the way the words flow across the page. You have some incredibly beautiful images in here. Awesome work. Congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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highway62
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Re: Blinded by the Truth

Post by highway62 » January 27th, 2014, 6:17 pm

Thanks folks, I'm really glad people enjoyed this.


Only your eyes are unclosed to see the black and folded town fast, and slow, asleep.

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