Single Fatherhood
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So again, I don't recall if I posted this before, and I don't have access to the old forums. But I like it, so here goes.
Single Fatherhood
I heard that poet laureate paint
a picture of a sunset, his similes
sublime, his phrases
silky as the weave
of his cashmere
cravat. I'm thinking
of the last time I ruined
the laundry, my hands
full of colors bleeding
into whites, throat tight, tears
at the corner of my eyes, then Joseph
wrapped himself around my legs, I felt
his lips move against my hip
while he whispered
"I love you daddy."
And I thought, Let the pretty poets
enjoy the luxury
of celestial musings. They sleep in
slouch down to the corner cafe
at a civilized noon. I'll be up
at quarter after five,
worrying. The doctor's bill
is here, there's no clean
underwear,I just read that sugar
causes cancer, and
a week ago someone took a two year-old
from somewhere up the street.
Let them all hold forth.
I'll write about that.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
Single Fatherhood
I heard that poet laureate paint
a picture of a sunset, his similes
sublime, his phrases
silky as the weave
of his cashmere
cravat. I'm thinking
of the last time I ruined
the laundry, my hands
full of colors bleeding
into whites, throat tight, tears
at the corner of my eyes, then Joseph
wrapped himself around my legs, I felt
his lips move against my hip
while he whispered
"I love you daddy."
And I thought, Let the pretty poets
enjoy the luxury
of celestial musings. They sleep in
slouch down to the corner cafe
at a civilized noon. I'll be up
at quarter after five,
worrying. The doctor's bill
is here, there's no clean
underwear,I just read that sugar
causes cancer, and
a week ago someone took a two year-old
from somewhere up the street.
Let them all hold forth.
I'll write about that.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Just a note about the old forum - you can access it if you search for "poet sanctuary proboards", which should lead you to a log in page. But there's no worries if you also posted it there, because you can still repost on our new site!
I really enjoy seeing this down to earth style, even though it doesn't hold the elevated vocabulary and grandeur of some poetry it is still poetic and refreshingly grounded in real life. Reality can still be poetic!
Since this is about parental love, rather than romantic, I shall move it to our roots board for you - PM on the way about that.
I really enjoy seeing this down to earth style, even though it doesn't hold the elevated vocabulary and grandeur of some poetry it is still poetic and refreshingly grounded in real life. Reality can still be poetic!
Since this is about parental love, rather than romantic, I shall move it to our roots board for you - PM on the way about that.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
everhopeful wrote:J
I really enjoy seeing this down to earth style, even though it doesn't hold the elevated vocabulary and grandeur of some poetry it is still poetic and refreshingly grounded in real life.
And this is one of the best complements I can imagine, because it is precisely my view of poetry.
Thanks for the kind words-
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
karrie wrote:This is absolutely wonderful! Much enjoyed reading!
Thanks for the kind words...
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
This is a great poem, jasong. I totally agree with you... there is power in simplicity! Having a vast vocabulary is great, but for me the simpler words and simpler statements can pack the biggest punch on the reader. I often feel the same way, writing of flowery scenes of love and such though having no real life experience (though I guess it's probably cause I'm still in my teens).
I think this situation can speak to lots of people across the country (scratch that... across the world!). Maybe someday I'll truly understand the situation you must be in on a day to day basis... someday.
Lovely work, touching and down to earth.
~TIMOTHY~
I think this situation can speak to lots of people across the country (scratch that... across the world!). Maybe someday I'll truly understand the situation you must be in on a day to day basis... someday.
Lovely work, touching and down to earth.
~TIMOTHY~
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Re: Single Fatherhood
I too liked this piece.....to me this is what poetry is......Great write.....Whisk
Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!
Thank you for your comments!
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Whisk and Timothy, thanks very much for your kindness!
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Dude this is way powerful. The language was simple and yet carried meaning beyond the conventional. The emotion was well-realised as well and for that reason, I enjoyed it immensely. I'll be watching for more.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
CC-commas wrote:Dude this is way powerful. The language was simple and yet carried meaning beyond the conventional. The emotion was well-realised as well and for that reason, I enjoyed it immensely. I'll be watching for more.
Thanks for the kind words
Jasong, sans bling reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Sometimes our own little worlds contain all we really need, when we see that the world gets a little brighter. I really enjoyed this, and it brought a fair amount of sunshine to my day. Great write.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Thanks very much for the kind words-dvtcpwp wrote:Sometimes our own little worlds contain all we really need, when we see that the world gets a little brighter. I really enjoyed this, and it brought a fair amount of sunshine to my day. Great write.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Wow. High praise!! Thank you so much!!Belteshazzar wrote:This was such a great poem because I'm attached to my father. You've captured fatherhood and made it your own. This is one of my favorite poems now.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
- truthsparked
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Re: Single Fatherhood
This was very powerful to me, rest assured single moms can appreciate, too! I prefer the simple real life wording, I like poetry that tells a story and doesn't bog me down with trying to read between the lines and flowers, thanks!
----TS
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Thank you so much for the kind words.truthsparked wrote:This was very powerful to me, rest assured single moms can appreciate, too! I prefer the simple real life wording, I like poetry that tells a story and doesn't bog me down with trying to read between the lines and flowers, thanks!
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
I can appreciate fancy poerty on lofty themes but the poems I love are poems like this one, poems I can understand, that make me feel something.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Flux, thank you very much for the kind words.flux wrote:I can appreciate fancy poerty on lofty themes but the poems I love are poems like this one, poems I can understand, that make me feel something.
Jasong, sans bling, reincarnated.
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Nice work J,I can relate closely to this one...Solo fathers do not have it easy,especially with Mom missing most of the time...Thanks for this...
Today followed yesterday
Yesterday is gone forever
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Re: Single Fatherhood
Ace, or ALL the time.Aceburg wrote:Nice work J,I can relate closely to this one...Solo fathers do not have it easy,especially with Mom missing most of the time...Thanks for this...
Thanks for the kind words...
Jasong