Jealous Bones

[Slug]

Lay my withered bones to retire
and keep your tears away
my distaste for dirges is far more present
than all your somber eyes

Then regarding darkness
that seems to fill these empty days
I’m bound for soil, or so you’ll believe
that I never once was here

But you are bound for riddles
those that fly off your charred blackened tongue
they seem to bounce from timber to tombstone
effortlessly black out our sun

I’ll bury the parts that you held close
that you turned a darkly dreaming grey
but I reckon that this ground is too frozen
so I’ll remain with jealous bones and shame

You were sundowned and beaten
on a fleeted bed of stone
and I remain tongued tied and faded
I pray that you find absolution

[JuniorRobin]

This is quite biting. There's an almost disregard from the speaker for what is important to the person they are addressing, although you turn it back on them towards the end where they acknowledge their shortcomings and the final line is a least a crumb of positivity on which to end. There's some good imagery here and I particularly enjoyed the final two stanzas, especially the penultimate one.

JR

[Sasha]

This is a highly effective piece of expression! I particularly love that punchy phrasing that held intense emotions, like jealousy, somehow anger, relinquishment, and even revenge, and sadness throughout the whole read with some dark imagery that, again, I absolutely love!
Eloquent, powerful piece of poetry - very much enjoyed!

Sash

[jsol]

Solid writing Slug. You got a new fan. I really like the stout gruffness of the speaker and how the somewhat stoic crust of a personality, through the excellent imagery, can hint at a more subtle, emotional core. I also like some of the adjectives you create in the past tense like "sundowned" and "fleeted."

[sombers_eye]

From a caustic start down to a caring one. The poem is exquisite and elegant and all the phrasing here is used very well. i really love how the images come together so perfectly. it helps that I read this poem aloud too.

[garic]

I had a spiritual teacher once who said,
"The only unhealthy emotion, is the one that is kept inside;unexpressed".

This is a very healthy poem!

[flux]

Congrat's on the spotlight.

'But you are bound for riddles
those that fly off your charred blackened tongue
they seem to bounce from timber to tombstone
effortlessly black out our sun '

My favourite stanza.

[rupertpupkin]

Some great imagery here and oh so well expressed. Love the harsh, biting feel to the piece. Enjoyed so much, well done on the spotlight, most deserving, Sean.

[dwells]

How did I miss this one? The gradually developing tale of a passing and the recollection of one left behind, who was much valued before a betrayal that was all but forgotten; as you soon will be too (but I could be wrong). Told with much abstract imagery yet the underlying tone of loss is pervasive, while the memories lie unstill in the grave they were sent to prematurely perhaps. The dead are jealous of the living they say and this poem was transcendant in so many ways; congrats on the Spotlight and one of the best from TPS, cheers Slug!

[everhopeful]

A very bitter tone to this one, at least that's how it reads to me, and the speaker's desire to not be mourned doesn't seem to come from self-depreciation, it feels more like a reflection of the contempt they receive in their life. It reads with a biting edge too, one which suggests an element of vengeance, and bearing in mind the theme of burial, it's a vengeance which can never be answered back.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[created2write]

Thought provoking and truthfully rendered. You drew the scene for the reader to experience the flow of your ink. Loved your title too. Well done. peace