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[JuniorRobin]

I
The page is longer loading in the pub,
so put your glass down now and concentrate
on the whiteness of the face that has – so far -
been keeping your red-bloodedness in check.

II
Other hands are reaching now
to lecture me before the pint is out.
I look at her and I realise that she’s not
the air between my thighs at night,
nor the tether that’s unravelling
with every mention of her name.

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow I really like this one a lot!!! Great use of metaphors! My only complaint is that it wasn't longer! I wanted it to go on, as I was totally hooked on the words and the image of your words. Assuming I am older than you, that would make me Senior Robin. That sounds horrible. Yuck. I will be on the lookout for your posts, I totally loved this write. Keep them coming and I will be reading with delight! -LMB xoxo

[ladylilith]

I've been saving this 'til last. I knew I was in for a treat when I saw your name pop up in this board. And I was not disappointed. You absolutely enchant the reader by putting them right in the scene with the speaker with but a few choice words. It's the power of precision. And what an intriguing and chin rubbing tale you tell. I could see this from a few different perspectives, which is part of its magick, I think it is something that can be made personal to each reader, but still remains confined in a little mystery, the sole keeper of the secret being the writer.. That makes no sense.. *sigh*

Strong, provocative writing. You know I'm forever a fan!

Lily^^

[Zombie]

It was really short yet said so much! I love this one. The metaphors, the emotion, everything...It's just so well-written!

I'll be looking for more of you! Nicely done!

[inflames]

Welcome to the new TPS, Nick! Glad to see you here. :)

I adore this poem. Very truthfully told. Nice to see you take your place on the pages of TPS. :)

[everhopeful]

Welcome to TPS Mista Robin!
Very cleverly done here, I like how you play upon the theme suggested by the title to the point where it could be indicative of an extra nuance to the story expressed. The deeper meaning resonates with me, the battle between a fleeting pleasure and something which is more permanent.
Love the ending most of all, the unravelling tether comes away before our eyes.

[karrie]

I absolutely love this! The second part especially grabbed me. So nice.