Bathing in Blue Light (IK)

[karrie]

Water cascades at full volume
into a porcelain tub,
like a waterfall falling
from depths on high

Crashing
to pool in deep blue
at my feet.

Deafening,
to drown out the sound
of your voice.

Steam rises up
covering me like a blanket
to conceal my broken heart
and the mirror streaked with condensation.

I do not look at myself
in jagged pieces

as I peel off the ugliness
of venomous words,
spewed from your sensual mouth,

those words burned holes in my clothes
that now lay crumpled on the floor
like scraps of discarded paper.

I immerse myself in water so hot,
hoping that it will burn every feeling
that I had for you out of my body

to float on the water's surface
like dead leaves upon a pond.

I scrub myself in a futile attempt
to make myself

shine,

beautiful

but not in your eyes.

My beauty is hidden
within your shadow.

I scrub to remove your rejection
and the places that you have touched

and it hurts.

Your ghost hovers in the corner,
out of the blue light
and the reach of my grip,

out of sight
of the prying eyes of the moon
which stares down

at my naked vulnerability

and laughs.

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow Karrie... I love this! I really have been loving your writing this past month, your pen has been on fire! The formatting really sets this peice up perfectly... it reads like a 'conversation' the speaker is having with her emotions or feelings at the moment.

I love the idea of trying to either scrub yourself clean of the memories and pain or to just burn them away in hot water... it creates not only a great image, but it set a perfect tone for me as the reader...

One board down and you've knocked this write out of the park! Love it!

-R
xoxo

[Mike6]

Great use of formatting here. I saw it more as the craziness of the speaker's emotions bouncing back and fourth. They're wild and untamed, never static. Loved the water imagery--water is such a profound way to express sadness. Great work! I agree w/ Robin, your work has definitely been on fire this past month. Good luck in the challenge!

[Dew]

Wow kar-kar, that is a really thorough exploration...the ideas and senses and actions you touch on and fold into the metaphor reach out in every direction. So tactile, especially...made me think of the words I've heard before from people about verbal abuse: i wish they would have just hit me instead. I don't think that would play out to be true for everyone, but it's understood here that words sink in and don't wash off easily. Wonderful! - dew

[everhopeful]

The opening to this was excellent, I really like how you took a seemingly innocent scene and made it absolutely loaded with deeper context. From there you played upon the scene in a way which brought form and imagery to the situation the speaker found herself in. Although this is well placed in the sadness, there's something so brutal about the content that it feels very oppressive and metaphorically violent. I know I sometimes say this about your work, but you have the uncanny knack of making something quietly spoken hit like a gut punch.
Happy August to you!

[things_i_wrote]

omg karrie you deserve a noble prize for that ..like cleaning and keeping your virtue from everything this is such beautiful poem the visualizing is amazing and very good thanks for sharing

cheers..TIW

[tangerinepie]

An astounding poem that captures pain with exquisite details.The whole idea of scrubbing away the sorrows from already bruised flesh..the fearless exposure of vulnerability.Just a poetic jewel..Tangie..

[Baywriter]

Beautifully written, karrie. One of my favorites from you I think. The imagery is really striking and poignant. It's hard to follow the great comments above me... I think the idea of rinsing yourself clean is extended wonderfully throughout this piece. I like the formatting because there's something about the way you've used all of the space on the page... it feels open instead of cluttered if that makes sense. It emphasizes the exposure and vulnerability of the speaker. I really enjoyed this. Looking forward to more of your IK entries.

Bay

[ladylilith]

Wh- whao! I love the formatting of this piece, it truly does some work of its own before you get to reading the actual. It's as fluctuating and as powerfully chaotic as water, you know? It's got real breathing space and you make such good use of the space given to you. It's an inspired piece- clever, compelling and I was utterly absorbed by it!

Lily^^

[Sasha]

Such a striking emotional piece!
I'm used to this high expressive quality in your work, there's this worded vulnerability and your ability to put such powerful emotions into words that make your poems just so unique and brilliant.
As they said above, the formatting worked as an advantage; doubling the effect of the poem along powerful poignant imagery that was put here oh so well!
Expressive, amazing work!

Sash

[dwells]

One of your best Karrie, and sadly sensual in an erotic scrubbing to remove the words and rejection that will form another ring, around the tub this time. Got caught up in the mood and the misery of this very effective piece, cheers and press-on with IK!

[candlewitch]

dear karrie,

It is hard to beat the comments you've already received! and I agree with all of them!the emotional imagery is raw and very compelling! it is a stunning piece, from word usage to construction to imagery! I can relate completely. great work and good luck!

always, Cat

[allmirth]

Everything has already been so well expressed by other. I can only add my praise to the pile. Powerful and beautifully constructed poetry.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[JASON]

sheesh karrie, that must have been some bath...
this was just so artistic - good job.

[David Wayne]

good use of water here
I like the way it appears to be a conversation

I agree that is some bath
poor guy doesn't know what he's missing


David

[inflames]

This is such a great poem. I love the structure. Fantastic work- glad this made it to the spotlight as it would have been a shame to miss it!

[potentialpoet]

As I read your poem, I started to feel the ritualistic quality to what you described. I imagined that it was like some ancient rite where the words you say are symbolic of something too deep to make plain. And I see some sort of pageantry involved, costumes, sacred objects handed back and forth, Egyptian headdresses, and flickering torchlight. These are the sacraments of Love! The Magic Flute also comes to mind.

Your poem was very stimulating and enjoyable in its honesty and attempt to transcend and transform something negative.

[SirFleshwound]

You continue to surprise Karrie. The formatting mirrors the mood so well, each fragment shed in tune with the metaphor. A special write, congratulations.

[Mizzy]

Karrie...I can only presume this was festering
in your deepest soul until the point where
you spilled it out through your excellent pen.

A stunning poem..........Mick.

[dornicks]

It took me a while,but I think I got there,at least far enough to appreciate the content and format of your piece. Congratulations on the deserved Spotlight,

dornicks