Dollbed

[Dew]

remember when you looked at me
and not escapes beyond my body
remember when you looked for me
looked for something worth unhaving
you count the distance to the doors again

craftwork clippings guard your desert
scrapwork lives with pages missing
pushing feet through pastime shavings
I watch in through the dollhouse windows
your perfect home, no mess, no me and you

you paint the trim and catch the drippings
would you'd do as much with me
pretend that I'm your pretty project
not subtext from our play you paused
a poster on the wall you used to view

limbless figurine, what should I do
if God made us and left us without glue
it's late now come to bed
I'll kiss your shoulder, stroke your head
tonight a misplaced doll can feel a moment too

[Balustrade]

What a pacifist you are, in a good way. It is best to overlook all negatives and focus on the positives. Gripping words with a profound moral.

[things_i_wrote]

beautifully written i think this poem is written for someone dear to your heart
the poem kept the heartfelt vibe and this stanza had some sadness inside :

you paint the trim and catch the drippings
would you'd do as much with me
pretend that I'm your pretty project
not subtext from our play you paused
a poster on the wall you used to view

then comes the last stanza and you ended it perfectly with warmth
and peace of mind u know

great writ .....good to see you around the heart board dewy

cheers..TIW

[candlewitch]

aw...dew... your heart is showing. I am in awe, once again of your talent to share your feelings so freely! there is a longing to this...

always, Cat

[allmirth]

This leaves me with such a beautiful ache that I have no words to offer you, except...

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[ladymaybebaby]

What is up with you? You've gone all fluffy on me and I am loving it! What a great concept of the dollhouse... I am so envious of this piece! The rhymes are outstanding and so smooth...like a cake topper kind of bonus! The fragility is captivating....... Your muse has blessed you! Damn Dew... blown away here!

-Robbie
xoxo

[JASON]

God didn't leave us without glue - we can still fix the boken things
my friend...or at least 'HE' can still fix the broken things...
I don't get the full meaning of this one but it is creative work,
well deserving of the spotlight - well done.

[Mr D]

I liked how it progressed thru and past a melancholy that bites, tames with a soft touch and understanding pat, the way you took it all and tried to merge with, keeping only what's worth to keep.
Gratz on the spotlight, Dewzy
Best to you, bro
D

[rupertpupkin]

Although melancholy and hopeless, I found tenderness and love in the speaker's voice. Really good work here Jim. Well done on the well deserved spotlight.

[Dew]

thanks all...I wrote this watching my wife immerse herself in crafting (making dollhouses) to numb the loss of our daughters. In a way, it made sense to me...no where to run away to, so run within instead...dew

[everhopeful]

For a poem originally posted in the heart, I think you've taken an unusual perspective here, yet it is one which isn't short of admiration and longing, it's just presented in a way I don't often see in that board. For one the speaker creates a bit of an emotional distance between himself and his loved one, and seems to feel set aside. Yet that doesn't come across with any ill-feeling, instead it becomes more of an observational poem. Perhaps most appropriate of all that he is able to look from outside to in on a situation he is a part of, much in the same way his loved one looks from outside to in on her creation.
Deeply layered poetry, congratulations on the spotlight!

[LorettaYoung]

I had to read this a few times Dew; and each time I could feel the depth of your sorrow more; the sorrows we live with; and I thought, we all know rejection, disappointments, loneliness, etc, I believe, but I have never seen it expressed with such perfect poetic passion. Is it easy to pass by these knowings brush them aside and turn your minds to something easier to bear, if you were not a poet. Gripping read for me and congratulations. I appreciated how the metaphor was perfectly entwined, and a flawless and effortless rhythm. Loretta

[gypsyrose]

I feel sorrow for the misplaced doll and hope the home gets a little messy. Your oem is beautifully penned.

[Josie]

Healing takes time and your poem illustrates the pain experienced when loved ones are cut off emotionally from each other. Narrator is reaching out with hope to one who matters to him.
I watch in through the dollhouse windows
your perfect home, no mess, no me and you
Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[Baywriter]

I missed this when you posted it, but I'm glad it was chosen for spotlight so that I had the chance to read it now. I love the repetition in this piece, and I thought you had a creative array of descriptions. In particular, I liked "scrapwork lives" and "pastime shavings." And I really enjoyed the way you carried this doll metaphor through the whole poem. Awesome work. Congrats on your spotlight!

Bay

[dornicks]

I like the way you blended the feelings in this piece and feel it is deserving of it's place on the Spotlight. Congratulations,

dornicks