Soliloquy.

[whitbypoet1]

Draw the curtains
slowly now,
and take
a quiet stroll
with me,
we'll turn the pages
one by one
and dream
in dark
tranquility,
of leafy lanes
meandering
where
blackbirds scold
and robins sing,
then
arm in arm
we'll watch the sea
and walk
within
just you and me,
and when
impatient
morning rain
is tapping on
the door,
we'll draw
the curtains
wide again
and
close the book
once more...

[Dew]

lovely meter...the mostly-iambic foot in paired octameter sets up the ear so that it is impacted by the last broken couplet of heptameter...gives it a final-sounding close. Also, the meter just reads naturally as dipodes...which causes the last foot of each set of eight to 'fall' a little at the end and add to the musical quality...even better reason to drop the last foot in the final lines and end on a primary accent...every little touch pleases, even the truncated first foot and how it exaggerates 'draw'. For me, this was a delightful bit of artistry with sound...you can't hide it with line breaks!! XD - sorry I got all analytic with it! the words are lovely too! marvy! - dew

[seraph1420]

I love this one. The flow is smooth. I love the calmness that surrounds it. The tone is a bit musical which just adds more subtlety to it.

This is a lovely piece to read.

Seraph

P.S. sorry, I'm not so technical as dewy xD

[Jerryk]

Hello there;
wow, what a lovely poem rendered in an interesting form. I read it aloud for the fullest effect and found it mesmerizing. Great work, Whitbypoet.
Jerry

[riversidepoet]

beautiful, I liked this form also, no matter what the form you have what I call perfect beat, it is just so enjoyable to read, thanks again, may God bless

[inflames]

Love that final sentiment, drawing curtains wide and closing book is an interesting contrast. Great post and congrats on your spotlight!

[BarryC]

simply amazing-deserving of the spotlight

[Dew]

still enjoy this piece for it's marvelous meter and minor touches that give it that added feeling of finality. Congrats on the spot! - dew

[Ladywildalice]

Congrats on the Spotlight. When you are talented at writing poetry, you can't hide it in design and structure, the words, the rhythm and rhyme, the verbal cadence of it, still trips off the tongue in such a pleasing manner. Excellent work.

[Josie]

This felt hypnotic. It could be a parent lulling a child to sleep or a romantic connection between two lovers who as they stroll through this timeless setting are as one. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[WriterMinuit]

There is something quite unique about this poem. I was enticed into the structure: the iambic meter gave a tranquil, subtle rhythm which flowed seamlessly with the enjambed lines. It was captivating and drawing from the very first line, with dreamy imagery and pauses for reflection in reference to 'the pages'...the pages of life, perhaps? In this sense, it became a very personal poem, and one which allowed playful imagination as I considered who your addressee was- or mine own.
'Leafy lanes meandering' was my favourite phrase, capturing the pastoral mood of your poem. Beautifully composed. It is no wonder it is here in the spotlight.
Eámonn.

[shays1]

Absolutely perfect love poem. The title draws the reader into a personal experience. Excellent!

[Alan]

Not really sure what is particularly going on but my take was the relationship of opening/closing curtains and books was akin to exploring or enjoying life.

Overall the tone was so peaceful and, having looked at the comments, I now see the meter coming out! It's so well done that it's so subtle.