The Melancholy

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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civilizedbrat
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The Melancholy

Post by civilizedbrat » July 26th, 2015, 8:05 am

(She wrapped time around her neck like a rope)
She let the black and white photographs,
chipped at the edges, stained with darkness,
weave together like string
layer upon layer until it was threaded thick..
nights on the pavement, rain soaking into split-ended hair,
frost crawling up her skin
the bronze haired woman and sunken-cheeked manleft with promises
of ‘we’ll be back’ and ‘don’t move.’
(She didn’t)
not even when he pulled her over
not even when he pushed inside
push pull
not even…
(The rope wove tighter)
She could barely move even now –running to buildings that promised
knowledge running like the crystalline Jamaican waterfalls
'all you need for life and more.’
but she ran into walls of papers that were stuffed into her ears
tightening knots in her knowledge
and the swarm of so called teenagers
'say this’ ‘hair up’ ‘smoke this’ ‘cleavage forward’ and‘smile.’
but her smile wavered and slipped.
she’d come so far from where she was
but she didn’t know where she was
life was sliding away
(Slip, slide, slipping)
but what more was there to life?
(The worry warped her mind and time taunted her.)
Eyes cast ahead, her feet would stumble
the black and white past so bright it blinded
boundher down
searching through the unknown, the monsters, the… men
she was like a statue even now, stiff
She couldn't ‘move!’
frozen, frightened and no feeling
time was running out
(slip, slide, slipping) away no escape
(The thought was enough to push her over.)
She wrapped time around her neck like a rope
and she let it string tight, push her over the edge of the nest
a push for freedom rope to guide
and time to slip and slide her to where she needed to be.



SabyCs
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by SabyCs » July 26th, 2015, 12:14 pm

Wow.That really is commendable.Nice work.I loved the way you went with this.Appreciative indeed.




Inconclusive
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by Inconclusive » July 26th, 2015, 7:28 pm

Very well written poem. I will be sure to check back at any others you may write!


"I'm unconventional, incomprehensible; it's intentional" - JMT

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civilizedbrat
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by civilizedbrat » July 26th, 2015, 9:53 pm

awwww that was really sweet ;) thankyou so much



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seraph1420
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by seraph1420 » July 27th, 2015, 10:03 am

OMG. I am in awe. Honestly. This is awesome. Such tragedy, such pain and you portrayed it so beautifully. I'm struck.
Thanks for sharing love

Seraph



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civilizedbrat
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by civilizedbrat » July 27th, 2015, 10:09 am

heheheh thank you so much sweetheart! ❤ :lovey:



Lonnie
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by Lonnie » August 10th, 2015, 2:06 pm

Very powerful and moving poem! Takes more than one read to really savor the intensity! Nicely done!



karrie
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by karrie » August 10th, 2015, 6:43 pm

From the beginning to the end I was hooked. Well written write and congratulations on the well deserved spotlight!



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sparky21737
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by sparky21737 » August 10th, 2015, 7:49 pm

A well deserved spotlight congrats!!!! I loved it

Sparky


Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light ~ Albus Dumbledore

Sparky's Poetry

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jsol
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by jsol » August 11th, 2015, 12:30 pm

Great spotlight pick. The sense of reality slipping away is palpable and terrifying. The tightening knot and the loosening grip are juxtaposed well and it would be tough to turn up the sense of urgency any more. The choking theme steadily builds to an ending where thick layers of confusion and fear seem to flatly deny oxygen.



BarryC
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by BarryC » August 11th, 2015, 1:06 pm

an astute choice for the spotlight-well done



jayn
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Re: The Melancholy

Post by jayn » August 13th, 2015, 9:39 am

Tragedy unfolding. I actually found this somewhat challenging to read since it touched a nerve. Fine writing to have done that.



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