Star

[jayn]

Star
May 2017

My feet itch
Scratching
I find the same dirt between my toes
none of that red dust
of adventure and wanderlust
of that freeing of self
from the things that matter every day
This gritty crumble is melded with my cells
and I am transfixed
like the scented falling tumbledown gums
in rock
I wait
I plod from dawn to dusk
living by instinct
carrying
then
throwing down the sun
beyond those blue hills
where my love lies spreadeagled
across the profligate waste of a future
built on crumbling sand
and rivers that never flow
The present waits
for destiny
and people who matter
and people who don’t
The takers take
and I cling to my own heart’s hope
Always, this silent, patient tending of green leaves
of mending broken things
and sending to the insouciant stars
an intention like light
as if they
were gods
who could solve humanity’s little issues
I watch them fall
My feet tingle
I dance in the dark

[INFPoet]

Oh wow, I don't know what to say. This is a masterpiece, jayn! You have everything working for you here - intrigue, vivid imagery, a perfect ending - just perfect, really. I'm very, very impressed, and going to bookmark this so I can come back and read it again later!

This whole part especially stands out to me, really speaks directly to me. I'm highlighting my favorite part.

rivers that never flow
The present waits
for destiny
and people who matter
and people who don’t
The takers take
and I cling to my own heart’s hope
Always, this silent, patient tending of green leaves
of mending broken things
and sending to the insouciant stars
an intention like light
as if they
were gods
who could solve humanity’s little issues
I watch them fall
My feet tingle
I dance in the dark

I am in awe. I bow to your poetic genius.
~INFPoet

[jayn]

I dont know about genius. Isn't it a fact about being poetic that this stuff flows out of us, emotions, impressions, our attempts to describe our human condition and our understanding of our relatedness and place in the universe. Expressing it is not so much an act, as synthesis - a flowering and the fruit of being alive. I read marvelous poetry here and elsewhere, such diversity and yet so much universal meaning in all of it. Ah yes, curiosity now diverts me to your poems. Thank you for your critique. :)

[INFPoet]

You nailed it, jayn!!! When people ask me "how in the world did you write this?" - I usually respond more or less "I didn't. It just came." Poetry is really art; like a painter creates a picture of what he sees, so the poet paints a picture likewise of what he feels.

To clarify a bit, when I referred to "bowing to your poetic genius", it's just a phrase I like to use when I really, really admire someone else's work. You know, so many people say "great poem", "nice work", etc., and that's often just being nice, but if I say that I really mean it. :)

Cheers to we of poetic hearts!
~INFPoet

[S(OU)LAR]

I dance in the dark

Yeah, it's nice when inexplicable feelings come to make us dance no matter what. Right on.

[CarolynKleefeld]

Magnificently composed, with a skillful use and language and descriptive imagery; powerful, creative and mesmerizing-- much enjoyed Jayn.