Cold Silence

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trekay1234
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Cold Silence

Post by trekay1234 » May 8th, 2012, 12:32 am

This world, silent and still

I feel a breath of cold, chilling my heart


What is love without the person to love?

What is passion with no one to give it to?


My soul was given to you

My heart, now submerged in a void of nothingness

I have no more tears to cry

No more energy to move


Without your love engulfing me

And smothering me


Even with all the millions of people

With all the riches in the world
It means nothing without you by my side


Where are you?
Are you hiding?

Are you happy...


Without me


This world would be nothing without the sheer happiness

Of love


The love of before
The love of which passion ripped through me like flames licking up precious wood

The love I gave you, you took, never to return back to me


This world was meant for lovers, not one by itself

Lovers once we were

Lovers we are not


The void grows to become empty and cold

This world is silent, still


No flames of passion to give warmth
No one person to share the riches of heartbeats with

I, myself, have disappeared from the glass surface of humanity 

Into the void of darkness


Along with my heart

Wounded and shivering 
I cradle her like a crying child, tender and sweet


In this silent emptiness 


~I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side~

Etchers
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by Etchers » May 8th, 2012, 12:40 am

I think you will get mixed opinions about the piece. It initially comes across like a teenager crying for their first love but grows from that into something quite brilliant. The way it's phrased and structured is just awesome. A great piece... seriously this is awesome.



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generictruth
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by generictruth » May 8th, 2012, 12:48 am

I absolutely adored this poem. The metaphors were brilliant, the message was all to relateable. The words were capturing. It was indeed "awesome"


When we hope for perfection
we only see the pain
when we pray for light
there's only rain
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trekay1234
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by trekay1234 » May 8th, 2012, 12:51 am

Thank you very much! :D I'm not used to doing long poetry, so this was a little bit of an experiment.

Cheers.


~I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side~

Dew
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by Dew » May 9th, 2012, 8:45 pm

Very beautiful...I really loved the line: "The love of which passion ripped through me like flames licking up precious wood
"...that brought delicious mental images...even among sad longing. - Dew



trekay1234
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by trekay1234 » May 12th, 2012, 9:17 pm

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you! :D


~I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side~

musie
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by musie » May 26th, 2012, 8:49 pm

trekay~I don't believe I've read you before, so I will first welcome you to TPS....I thought this to be a brilliantly written piece from your pen....I too liked the line that Dew pointed out, but I think my favorite image was the in the last stanza...

"Along with my heart

Wounded and shivering
I cradle her like a crying child, tender and sweet
"

So heart wrenching in it's depth of Sadness and loss of such tender feeling's of a love that once was....Musie


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by ladymaybebaby » November 25th, 2012, 1:11 pm

Welcome to TPS and congrats on the spotlight choice! As I read this, it seemed like you wove feelings of honesty into a deep and metaphorical piece of poetry. It was a tender and gentle use of language to tell the tale of something so sad and tinged with longing and lonliness, so many unanwered questions... the ' if only factor'! Brilliantly handled! Thank you for this one, it was a most enjoyable read...

-LMB
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Lonnie
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by Lonnie » November 26th, 2012, 6:57 am

A nice poem to read aloud! Congrats on Spotlight!



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Re: Cold Silence

Post by musie » November 26th, 2012, 6:28 pm

CONGRATULATIONS on the Spotlight with this one! Most deserving..it was a pleasure to read it again...Musie


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songofmeadow
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by songofmeadow » November 27th, 2012, 1:05 pm

Congratulations on the spotlight, a poem that draws the reader in from the title, which is open to interpretation through strong visuals and metaphor to the oh so sad ending, well done, meadow


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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Sasha
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by Sasha » November 27th, 2012, 3:07 pm

I echo Meadow about the title, definitely grabs the attention, and the content has the same effect.
Beautifully done! Congratulation on the Spotlight!

Sash



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tangerinepie
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by tangerinepie » November 28th, 2012, 7:26 pm

I also must add my congrats on this truly soulful poem.To me it was all about the writing, the great visuals created, and how it expressed your loss..Memorable..Ty..T..


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inflames
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by inflames » November 29th, 2012, 1:19 am

This sends shivers down my spine. Wonderful tone to this. A beautiful spotlight piece! Congrats!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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knpoet
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by knpoet » November 29th, 2012, 9:04 am

Congratulations on the Spotlight, trekay1234, I missed this the first time around! This piece really pulls on the heartstrings, very eloquently put!

Kathy


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Hem
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by Hem » November 29th, 2012, 12:07 pm

I echo the sentiments expressed above. This is exceptional and plays out a range of emotion and expression.


Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement. ~ Christopher Fry
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary. ~ Kahlil Gibran

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the quiet poet
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by the quiet poet » January 21st, 2013, 10:57 am

I could feel everything. I feel the same. I feel cold.


The Quiet Poet

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Click HERE to view my poet file!

trekay1234
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Re: Cold Silence

Post by trekay1234 » April 26th, 2013, 10:42 pm

Thank you for all these lovely comments!
Sorry I've been gone, many things have affected me personally, but I'm back with many new pieces!


~I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side~

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