Struck bird

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albrightyo
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Struck bird

Post by albrightyo » October 8th, 2014, 4:22 pm

Struck bird

Silence speaks a loud voice,
Break down gentle in your shivering,
Icy Cold rivers run like the streams on my face,
Hands grown cold with this frost,
Pray for the fallen angel that I have lost,

Prairie Grass Brushes my dry ankles,
Twisting reality into surreal trips of sadness,
A small wind of whispers and sends word,
I am lost like an anxiety struck bird,

Fists clenched with frustration,
Swallows of Tar and fume,
The ever falling thoughts loom,

Dust and hot blood cake cracked knuckles,
Hot swelling rage boils deep in the lungs,
Excreting flaunting f--- fears,
All I ever wanted was you near.


"I built a wooden heart in this iron chest" - Listener

Dew
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Re: Struck bird

Post by Dew » October 9th, 2014, 7:19 am

<gasps> now I'm worried someone is going to get it...if they haven't already. This shows a dark side of affection...'if not mine then no ones!' if you take it that way. truly! harrowing...dew



JASON
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Re: Struck bird

Post by JASON » October 10th, 2014, 9:51 am

definitely a trip to the dark side of affection...
well written - emotional,angry stuff.



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candlewitch
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Re: Struck bird

Post by candlewitch » October 11th, 2014, 5:39 pm

hello,

definitely darkly disturbing! worthy of a little alliteration ;)

always, Cat


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Jaz
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Re: Struck bird

Post by Jaz » November 14th, 2014, 6:02 pm

Immediately from that first sentence you had my attention, right until that final dark verse and final word. Very wickedly fuelled words here, with a hint of mystery and perfect imagery thorough. Extremely well done. :)


Cloaked by a swarm of Ninjas.

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Windsend
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Re: Struck bird

Post by Windsend » November 15th, 2014, 2:44 pm

albrightyo wrote:Struck bird

A small wind of whispers and sends word,
Hello, nice read. I particularly like this line. I had a player character on Everquest 2 a few years back. It's a MMORPG from Sony. My avatars name was 'Windsend Whispersongs'. I also used the name here for the TPS forums. If you have any connection to the game send me a PM. :thumbs:


Spirabilis Receptaculum -

My Poems and "Wind Form" Poem Instruction

All work under, 'Windsend', is subject to my legal; Copyright Reserved 2014-23, USA.

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Elm46
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Re: Struck bird

Post by Elm46 » November 21st, 2014, 7:24 pm

It definitely is easy to pick up on the kind of calm subtle anger that so willfully encouraged this poem. An angel lost is something that I too would seek in desperation.


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Spring
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AM616
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Re: Struck bird

Post by AM616 » December 4th, 2014, 12:30 am

This was fantastic. You couldn't help but feel the sadness and anger radiating from this individual's thoughts. I think people often forget that sadness and anger can go hand and hand. Lovely piece and thanks for sharing.


"MUSIC speaks what cannot be expressed
soothes the mind and gives it rest
heals the heart and makes it whole
flows from heaven to the soul."

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AM616
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Re: Struck bird

Post by AM616 » December 4th, 2014, 12:30 am

This was fantastic. You couldn't help but feel the sadness and anger radiating from this individual's thoughts. I think people often forget that sadness and anger can go hand and hand. Lovely piece and thanks for sharing.


"MUSIC speaks what cannot be expressed
soothes the mind and gives it rest
heals the heart and makes it whole
flows from heaven to the soul."

rupertpupkin
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Re: Struck bird

Post by rupertpupkin » April 14th, 2021, 2:33 am

Well done on a most deserving spotlight. Wonderful write. ( maybe needs a language warning)?


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