vivere
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turning the ignition on this middling morning
with only the low pitch of a poem nestled in my ear,
dawn wobbles in the east, every new day now a-tilt,
askew, on a fractured axis
that only makes it spin faster somehow
hope is tucked between amber striations
something that must be sought out,
I delve with fickle fingers and doubt,
searching for resolution and answers
while simultaneously feeling up fate
oh, if time was still my marionette
that I could manipulate with a flick of the wrist,
that I could right with a reconcilable twist,
how happy I would be
for these abandoned bones
of lives I will never get to live,
that I will never call my own,
prick this dreamer soul
these free-spirit wings are pinned
to the tack board by circumstance,
these footloose feet are shackled
to the wheelhouse of merely existing
and I am anything but ordinary
and nothing so mundane
with only the low pitch of a poem nestled in my ear,
dawn wobbles in the east, every new day now a-tilt,
askew, on a fractured axis
that only makes it spin faster somehow
hope is tucked between amber striations
something that must be sought out,
I delve with fickle fingers and doubt,
searching for resolution and answers
while simultaneously feeling up fate
oh, if time was still my marionette
that I could manipulate with a flick of the wrist,
that I could right with a reconcilable twist,
how happy I would be
for these abandoned bones
of lives I will never get to live,
that I will never call my own,
prick this dreamer soul
these free-spirit wings are pinned
to the tack board by circumstance,
these footloose feet are shackled
to the wheelhouse of merely existing
and I am anything but ordinary
and nothing so mundane
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Re: vivere
Awesome piece.....your word choices brought this piece alive.....Bravo my friend.....Whisk
Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!
Thank you for your comments!
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Re: vivere
Hey beautiful! It's been far too long!!
This is a stunning piece of Open Mic writing.. I was very taken with the more melancholic feel this has, I elt it pulling on me the more and more I read.
'these free-spirit wings are pinned
to the tack board by circumstance,
these footloose feet are shackled
to the wheelhouse of merely existing' - The ending says it all.. I was in completely agreement.
Real impressive work. It's ever a pleasure.
Lily^^
This is a stunning piece of Open Mic writing.. I was very taken with the more melancholic feel this has, I elt it pulling on me the more and more I read.
'these free-spirit wings are pinned
to the tack board by circumstance,
these footloose feet are shackled
to the wheelhouse of merely existing' - The ending says it all.. I was in completely agreement.
Real impressive work. It's ever a pleasure.
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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Re: vivere
You don't know how happy I am to see your poetry again.
Emotionally speaking this felt like an epic poem, even though the 'journey' isn't a long one, the depth you've explored is enough to let me feel the speaker's stance in time with her.
I love the distinctive chapters, the marvellous metaphors of the first two paint the scene with the vivid colours of a life lived running against a treadmill-like earth.
The blend between how things could/should be and reality are harsh and pained, the feeling of being trapped and imprisoned by circumstance is devestating.
"anything but ordinary" - that is gospel, you are an extraordinary writer and person.
Forever a fan.
Emotionally speaking this felt like an epic poem, even though the 'journey' isn't a long one, the depth you've explored is enough to let me feel the speaker's stance in time with her.
I love the distinctive chapters, the marvellous metaphors of the first two paint the scene with the vivid colours of a life lived running against a treadmill-like earth.
The blend between how things could/should be and reality are harsh and pained, the feeling of being trapped and imprisoned by circumstance is devestating.
"anything but ordinary" - that is gospel, you are an extraordinary writer and person.
Forever a fan.
- created2write
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Re: vivere
Where you been sistagirl, Iike the others I am delighted to see your poetry on the boards. Much love
Now this was fascinating and does pull the reader in with a curiosity due to kinship with the speaker's dialogue of well understood feelings and thoughts, with that special way you have with your pen. exalt!
Now this was fascinating and does pull the reader in with a curiosity due to kinship with the speaker's dialogue of well understood feelings and thoughts, with that special way you have with your pen. exalt!
Re: vivere
Those last words, too oft do I feel them shuddering in my own soul. Also loved the stanza LadyLil quoted, circumstance has a lot to answer for that is for sure. I thought this piece was ever so profound from a personal point of view, seeing yourself in the gray, that slow motion, that fettered position and how we rustle our feathers and long just to be free, just to live! I adore this writing style of yours and if you told me you had a poetry book coming out I would pre-ordered instantly! Like Mick I am ever a fan!
This was exceptional in the realms of Open Mic Writing.
I loved it muchly.
Bookmarked.
x
This was exceptional in the realms of Open Mic Writing.
I loved it muchly.
Bookmarked.
x
Re: vivere
Hello my friend, how wonderful to see you posting again, far too long. As ever, the depth, creativity and startling metaphors sweep across my eyes without a blink. The envy soon turns to admiration. It ius strange how fate points us in the direction we do not want to go sometimes, and we are left hopeless within it's power. I was going to pick a fav line and go on about how masterful it is, but I won't because the whole piece is stunning. I adore this piece so very much.
Dave
Dave
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Re: vivere
Hey windowflower,
I have just read your work.
This whole piece was exceptional and the perfect capstone of the work were the final two lines;
and words being more true than these have yet to be spoken.
Excellent work here, excellent work indeed.
until...
I have just read your work.
This whole piece was exceptional and the perfect capstone of the work were the final two lines;
and words being more true than these have yet to be spoken.
Excellent work here, excellent work indeed.
until...
"Adversity discourages only an inferior people..."
Benito Juarez
"Conformity is the bane of all writers and poets-,
the deadliest of poisons to the dreamer."
Matches
"-- from my pain, for the pleasure of others."
Matches
Benito Juarez
"Conformity is the bane of all writers and poets-,
the deadliest of poisons to the dreamer."
Matches
"-- from my pain, for the pleasure of others."
Matches
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Re: vivere
Why do you have to be so good at this kind of poem? I don't read it, I feel it. A vocal pleasure, even when the content aches, even when the world is spinning too fast, even when things are slipping from the speaker's grasp, even when life becomes survival rather than joyous existence, I love that you are able to use your words to make me feel it every single step of the way.
There'd be no such thing as a spotlight board without your poetry to grace it, congratulations 'flower.
Forever a fan.
There'd be no such thing as a spotlight board without your poetry to grace it, congratulations 'flower.
Forever a fan.
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Re: vivere
This absolutely took my breath away! So beautiful. Congratulations on the much deserved spotlight
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Re: vivere
I have to agree, it is great to see your work again..it's been a while..and what a gem of a piece you have written here my friend....multifaceted word behavior coupled with outstanding imagery makes this a piece for a poet to revel in....just an epic work...and there is no doubt as to why it has gained the Spotlight..Congratulation's! Musie
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Re: vivere
Wonderful metaphors, original similes and a sense of direction in the path of life. This has it all.
Well deserving of it's Spotlight. Congratulations!!
Well deserving of it's Spotlight. Congratulations!!
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Re: vivere
Congratulations on a well deserved turn in the spotlight. A beautiful piece. Written so beautifully and crafted with such brilliance. Much enjoyed!
-LMB
xoxo
-LMB
xoxo
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Re: vivere
Oh my Gosh!! I'm seriously speechless and overwhelmed!!
I'll bookmark this without a question! That's stunningly beautiful, and am so so glad I got to read this under the Spotlight, its right place! Congrats on the much deserved Spotlight!
Sash
I'll bookmark this without a question! That's stunningly beautiful, and am so so glad I got to read this under the Spotlight, its right place! Congrats on the much deserved Spotlight!
Sash
- songofmeadow
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Re: vivere
I am so glad that I got a chance to read your poem, a poem to read over and over and enjoy more each time, stunning work, meadow
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Re: vivere
A few things- love the title and the choice of subject matter, it's so difficult to condense all that life is into the simplicity of a mere poem. Secondly, this is a very sophisticated poem in the sense that there is purposeful diction, rhythm and form in the language. I really liked the word choices- and how this whole reverie was conducted in a car (after you turned on the ignition?), it began so very ordinarily but turned out to be one of those reflections. Relatable :)
There's rhyme and a very consistent rhythm that makes the whole thing flow so wonderfully. I particularly enjoyed the last few stanzas- love the image of "these abandoned bones... get to live" and the contrasting images at the end. The last stanzas in italics was just the icing on the cake, rounded the whole thing up quite beautifully. Enjoyed this write, congratulations on a worthy spotlight!
There's rhyme and a very consistent rhythm that makes the whole thing flow so wonderfully. I particularly enjoyed the last few stanzas- love the image of "these abandoned bones... get to live" and the contrasting images at the end. The last stanzas in italics was just the icing on the cake, rounded the whole thing up quite beautifully. Enjoyed this write, congratulations on a worthy spotlight!
To see the world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wildflower.
To hold Infinity in the palm of your hand and Eternity in the hour.
~ William Blake
To hold Infinity in the palm of your hand and Eternity in the hour.
~ William Blake
- Jahaliel
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Re: vivere
I love the italics at the end. The emotions in there are beautiful. Wonderful work. Well deserved spotlight. Congrats!
- QuietAstronomer
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