The River of Dreams

Post by **3moPenguin** » October 27th, 2012, 6:13 pm

The River of Dreams

Rushing blue water erodes my soul
Taking what's important to me,
Taking what's important about me.
I can see them,
My talents,
My passions,
My friends,
My family,
And the one I once loved.
There she was
Drowning in that river.
Gasping for air, I hear her cry.
Help!
Help!
But it wasn't her cry
It wasn't her cry at all.
It was mine.
I see her looking down.
Looking down as if to say "I told you so".
Because I was the one drowning in that river,
Drowning in what I thought made me me,
Drowning in the River of Dreams.

Post by **Sasha** » October 28th, 2012, 6:06 am

Wow! That's beautiful!
I love the nature elements here and how you made them something of your own. And like before the river passes by you, it held that load of memories, or better to say a piece of you, but the day came and took them all the moment you was near it and you couldn't grasp any.
Very nice work! I very much like it, and Welcome to TPS!

Sash

Post by **ladylilith** » October 28th, 2012, 7:31 am

Some really striking imagery at work here. I love the idea of the river.. Like a metaphor for life almost, how it can just sweep you up and whisk you away downstream.. I also like how it all flips on the speaker, how they suddenly become the victim of the 'river of dreams'. Really great OM work, thanks for sharing it!

Lily^^

Post by **katana** » October 28th, 2012, 9:40 am

Wow. Amazing idea... the picture you painted was very well done.Especially because this was written at the spot.I hadn't realized how difficult OM is untill I tried it so well done for creating such a good piece. :)

Post by **katana** » October 28th, 2012, 9:40 am

Wow. Amazing idea... the picture you painted was very well done.Especially because this was written at the spot.I hadn't realized how difficult OM is untill I tried it so well done for creating such a good piece. :)

Post by **tangerinepie** » October 29th, 2012, 9:29 pm

I liked your concept and how you created the mood so easily.It was well done..TY..T..

Post by **Morning Star** » October 29th, 2012, 10:27 pm

And after we drown, what's left is what is true about us--without all those things that we use to define us.
--Just my take on things :)

Anyway,

I thought your poem was a very poignant expression of that experience of loss, of what we feel is important.
Beautifully and most powerfully expressed. :)

Post by **CarolynKleefeld** » February 23rd, 2021, 9:10 pm

Powerful words, beautifully expressed; insightfully and creatively composed-- much enjoyed.

Post by **rupertpupkin** » March 16th, 2021, 4:36 am

Nice work. Congratulations on a most deserving spotlight

The River of Dreams

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