If She Could Be So Bold

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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AliciaD
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If She Could Be So Bold

Post by AliciaD » January 12th, 2013, 8:46 am

The soft spoken girl
With a heart of gold
Would like to interject
If she could be so bold

Look around
Can’t you see?
Forcing yourself to
Live in stupidity

You live in ignorance
Follow the labels
Decisions made for you
Since you are unable

Exclamation points
Harass your vision
Everything in life’s
Got a provision

What you can eat
How much to drink
Don’t smoke that
Take a second to think!

New fad diet is gonna
Make you real healthy
So spend a grand
Make someone else wealthy

Come spend an hour
Sleepin under the knife
You’ll wake up to
Live a whole new life

Those new shoes
Are so last season
Don’t have any friends
And the shoes are the reason

Those crow’s feet
Are showin your age
Little plastic will fix that
And you’ll be remade!

Stretch marks cover you
From being pregnant
New miracle cream will
Make you worth the investment

A nation of pawns
Tryin to be so perfect
What the hell happened
To that thing called intellect

Only one thing left to say
Bout the self-induced insanity
The message is clear
Screw vanity


~Love is nothing more than a fatal attraction~

ladymaybebaby
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by ladymaybebaby » January 12th, 2013, 10:52 am

This is over the top cool and brilliant! Ok, first the way you set it up in the first stanza... love it, a soft spoken intro and then BAM... a rant of every infomercial or silly 1-800 number 'get this now' trial offer ensues...
Just the perfect amount of sass aimed at every product promising to overhaul us from top to bottom! The ending line is perfection! I freaking love this! Bravo....

-LMB
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

moe
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by moe » January 12th, 2013, 12:33 pm

Not being a member of the gentlier gender I cannot truly appreciate this as much as my predasessor does.
However I did enjoy the sly humor and fun "pokes" you made at those oh so stupid commercials. One might just go ahead and take milk baths for all the good they do.



evanlovett
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by evanlovett » January 13th, 2013, 11:34 pm

the frugal and modest frown at the superficial... the vanity is so petty, so trite.... loved your message...



ladymaybebaby
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by ladymaybebaby » March 4th, 2013, 1:14 pm

I commented on this piece when you first wrote it and you can see how much I loved it! I so think this piece is finally where it should be... smack dad in the spotlight! Congratulations on a job well done! I'm so happy this piece can now be read and enjoyed by all of the members of TPS! I am a huge fan of yours!

-LMB
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Sasha
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by Sasha » March 4th, 2013, 3:30 pm

Such powerful message in this! Even the used language how it was styled in this poem effectively.
It's like everything now is imprisoned and based on beauty, doing things to please other, neglecting the beauty of mind and inner self, with people manipulating other for their own benefits.
It does need boldness to stand up for that, to change track of things, to face this false impression some people nowadays think about this issue. And I like the hint of sarcasm that coloured some of your lines till reaching that striking end.
Very well done! and Congrats on the deserved Spotlight!

Sash



jwesley
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by jwesley » March 4th, 2013, 6:41 pm

love the way the opening stanza set it all up, couldn't help but laugh all the way to the bottom - you hit the mark so well. And the closing line like a trap being sprung ... excellent write.

j.



musie
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by musie » March 5th, 2013, 8:38 am

Alicia~ This piece was great and so spot on speaking of how vein many are, and you've written with a great sense of awareness of all of today's fad's and today's madness to fight aging....This was such a fun read and definitely worthy of the Spotlight...CONGRATULATIONS! Musie


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tangerinepie
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by tangerinepie » March 5th, 2013, 9:49 am

Bravo on such a catchy theme, it read so smoothly, and of course all the crazy fads and spam tricks are laughable.Each stanza held my interest and was brilliant in the rhyme scheme...What a great highlight choice and congrats..Tangie..


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SirFleshwound
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by SirFleshwound » March 6th, 2013, 9:07 am

This should be taught in schools to educate the youth. Vanity and its slow creeping insanity! A solid and sage message, delivered with class and wit. Congratulations.



E.S.
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by E.S. » March 7th, 2013, 3:03 am

Powerful ending line! "Screw Vanity".....



everhopeful
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by everhopeful » March 7th, 2013, 8:00 am

Even though this poem lives up to the billing of the opening and is softly spoken, I think there's a stinging side to the message which shouts loud and clear! As an anti-materialistic call to arms it works beautifully and is the antithesis to every shallow, "life changing" product we are told we MUST buy!
Enjoyed this one, congratulations on the spotlight!



inflames
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by inflames » March 8th, 2013, 5:39 pm

I adore the message in this- I think it comes across very strong. It might read quickly because of the short lines, but I don't think the reader would ever dare miss the message. Congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Ladywildalice
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by Ladywildalice » March 8th, 2013, 8:32 pm

Ignorance is not generated by intelligence. Ignorance is fed, encouraged, and strengthened by ignorance. As long as the spot light is placed on the exterior appearance and the materialistic possessions, children will absorb those as utmost in desirability. Very nicely done and much enjoyed. Thanks and congratulations.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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BlackVelvetRose
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by BlackVelvetRose » March 9th, 2013, 2:31 pm

There are so many out there that think plastic surgery, botox, or weighing 5 lbs will help them. I have came to realize that you first have to love yourself and accept what you are before you can move on with your life. I used to be one of those and i guess to a certain extent i still am. Congratulations on the spotlight. This was a well written message..


A bed of moss was granted,
she laid down with a sigh,
Embraced by the green blankets
she kissed the world goodbye

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nortan223
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by nortan223 » March 10th, 2013, 4:48 am

Vanity is useful for one thing - it makes the purveyors of insecurity rich. Cosmetics and surgery all have their place, but they cannot change the "real you". This gentle poem reveals the sensible approach to accepting this fact. A worthy Spotlight giving a worthy message.


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Agentlenihilist
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by Agentlenihilist » March 10th, 2013, 1:26 pm

Oh my, I am so glad this was put on spotlight and I got to read it, the piece you have here is pure brilliance!!!


I have
Never met
Anyone
From Missouri

Therefore
I have only
Speculation
To go on
When assuming

It exists


- JP

whubbard7
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by whubbard7 » March 10th, 2013, 1:39 pm

Fantastic insight and very original, no wonder you got spotlighted, you certainly deserve it. I think this speaks a message we all can agree with to some degree. Very clever and funny but insightful, you did a great thing when you worte this, so I thank you!
~WH7


"Gosh, it sure is dark in here..."
~My soul

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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: If She Could Be So Bold

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » May 16th, 2013, 6:11 am

this is very beautiful and very telling. i enjoyed reading your message beause it completely wreaks of truth. this is a very well deserved spotlight. so conrats on that. i agree with my pees above regarding your poem here. it has rythm and beautiful alliteration. enjoyed.

victor


Victor Mike Lash~
Larsen M. Callirhoe~


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