Shipwrecks

[Slug]

I've spoke of shipwrecks
that remain soaked and swollen
I've whispered more of tainted sunlight
which my splintered fingers have stolen

These cloudbursts have swallowed cathedrals
the earth trembled with Christian tongues
the rain has submerged bloated prophets
who clung to mortal twisted rungs

I've dwelled within these sunken fields
and became one with this dying breed
a handful of twisted sodden carnations
dressed in sorrow and tattered tweed

Roses have grown on the edges of my mind
trampled by these damn trodden weeds
hands clutched onto deafened apostles
who have planted hatred's seeds

Onto half mass from starboard
I've strung up the Holy Ghost's cord
have been shipwreck onto Bethlehem
and have wept with the meekly hung Lord

There's this aching behind these slumbered eyes
that chase the angels from the light
I'll walk among these shipwrecks
barefoot and dressed in white

[ladymaybebaby]

Hello and welcome to TPS! I found this to be a very engaging piece, I loved it! The extended metaphor is brilliant and you remained true to it until the last line! Plus, you throw in that rhyme scheme and this is not any easy piece to write, but you nailed it! This is very well penned and much enjoyed! So looking forward to reading more from you.

-LMB
xoxo

[ladylilith]

This is a highly effective piece of poetry. Meaning aside, I was really taken with the phrasing and the way you maintained the mood and atmosphere throughout. You have a great command of language, moving it in a way that both excites the imagination and shocks the soul. A really well thought of concept, one that continued to blossom as the piece progressed. Really superb work. Thank you for sharing it.

Lily^^

[Slug]

Thanks so much everybody!

[Spence]

Welcome to TPS! I really wholeheartedly enjoyed this one. You use broader language than I often find in poems on this board, and it has worked extremely well. The "high" voice you've take for this is perfect for the subject matter, and the language of this is lovely and twisting. I'm bookmarking this to be reread. Thanks for sharing, and I hope to see more of your work!

[musie]

EXALT! Now Slug you've only recently written this EXCELLENT piece, but have been a member since October of last year? I absolutely LOVE anything regarding Ship's and the "dying breed" you speak of...at the same time there is a Biblical quality to this as well.....speaking of the "Holy Ghost, Bethlehem and the Lord" so I felt this piece had a great sense of not only Creativity in the thought process but also a great depth of Emotional longing....ABSOLUTELY MAD MAD Writing skill's you have..and this piece is more than deserving of the Spotlight! CONGRATULATIONS! Musie



Pay it Forward

[ladymaybebaby]

Loved this one from the start! It's a great piece! Just stopping back to enjoy reading it a second time and to congratulate you on the spotlight pick for the week! A much deserved honor!

-LMB
xoxo

[Rassy48]

Wow! I don't know where to begin. Metaphoring this with ships and wrecks ... just a fabulous concept. As stated before, you carry this all the way through the entire creation. Word usage, rhyme, imagery, this piece has it all. The message you bring is right there. No wondering what this write is saying. Very aptly deserving of a Spolight recognition. Congrats!
Joanne

[Baywriter]

Really cool poem with a lot of vibrant imagery. I especially liked "these cloudbursts have swallowed cathedrals." A very striking idea and image that added a lot to the piece for me. Congrats on the spotlight!

Bay

[Josie]

This poem was unique and filled with images that made quite an impression on my mind. My favorite one was 'I've whispered more of tainted sunlight
Which my splintered fingers have stolen
and next would be 'These cloudbursts have swallowed cathedrals'. Thank you for sharing.

[Zombie]

I enjoyed this piece. The imagery was very effective, as was the use of metaphors.
Thanks for sharing.
Congratulations on the spotlight. It is very much deserved.