As The Mud Swells

[artists_death]

As The Mud Swells

Into the gloom shines the inner light
Down where the life of the light in contrast to the night
sings and shines without daylight
As the mud swells in your blood, my friends; as the mud swells in your blood

Sinking and hearing the whispering song
chthonic deities rise along
Lighting the path, they wisp and sway
Until there is another way
As the mud swells in your blood, my brothers; as the mud swells in your blood

Twisting constriction and breathless friction
Sloping to abysmal depths, both life and death are feared
Raining water from pitch black skies falling as starry spheres
Dripping from the lightless day for many thousands of years
As the mud swells in your blood, my sisters; as the mud swells in your blood

With life and death at odds below
the balance at last is struck
Beneath the winding passage lies a little more than luck
At journeys end we rise all covered up in muck
Some shining orb above may say, “we’re better off this way”
But we all know, that down below, the night turns into day
As the mud swells in your blood, my love; as the mud swells in your blood

[AliMariesDad]

I love the contrasts of life/death and light/dark. The repitition at the end of each stanza gives this the feel of a song. I also like the universality displayed in the differing referents. Mud in the blood is a great metaphor - I love how you leave the interpretation of it up to the reader. Great poem.
Welcome to TPS! I look forward to reading more from you.
AMD

[Sasha]

Welcome to TPS!

That's really a very deep writing; many elements were tangled together in a very neat way. I like how you started this with beginning of the day, as you used the nature elements in each stanza in the favour of the content, with flow like a short story with so much to take from- like you created parallel lines of contrast.
Excellent work! Thanks for sharing.

Sash

[Paralee]

That was really deep, gradually, and I thought I knew what you were saying, but now I have to find out what mud in the blood means, because it might change the whole meaning to me. But it was good and I thought rather dark, but maybe not. It was a great read, I really enjoyed it.

[gooseberry]

I'm thinking that you are saying we as humans are part of the very earth (mud) on which we stand? Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.If that is so,I whole heartedly agree.A very interesting piece that had me hooked right to the end.Thank you for sharing.

[artists_death]

Mud in the blood means something to me, but I would like to leave it open for interpretation. I'm very interested to hear other interpretations of it.

[Rassy48]

artists_death,
I must admit, this creation leaves me contemplating several intentions. I am in agreement with what has been stated before me, but there is still something here on which I cannot put my finger, or mind as it were. I am left to ponder this write further. Not every creation needs a definate explanation. Fabulously constructed and presented. I bow to this thought provoking creation. A wonderful accomplishment.
Joanne

[artists_death]

Thank you for your kind words. I seem to have achieved what I wanted with this poem. I've got a few more rattling around in my head.

[DomingoCarl]

'Tis great the choice of words! I felt a sense of a sort of unity in reading this poetic piece.

[BarryC]

such depth and astute choice of words-superb

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow, welcome to TPS! Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week on a truly great poem! It's a much deserved honor! What a way to start off! I am so looking forward to reading more of your work! Truly, a great debut here!

-LMB
xoxo

[jwesley]

I, too, liked the use of mud in the blood, and vaguely, in the cobwebs of my head, seems I remember a reference to marijuana --- and, of course, much more recent, the Muggles clan, in the Harry Potter books had mud blood (if I remember correctly) because they had little or no magical power --- so, (my words) thick, contaminated blood that negates the power of pure, unadulterated blood.

I'm sure, from this write, there could be any number of use for the term though...

enjoyed the read, and thoughts

jimmy

[artists_death]

Wow! I really can't believe it. What an honor. Thanks guys! And thank you for your kind words!

[artists_death]

I have to say that I love all the various interpretations of my poem that are coming out. Things I had not thought of when I wrote it.

[dornicks]

I enjoyed reading this and can only imagine this piece was meant to take us back to basics. Congratulations to you (and the mystery),

dornicks

[musie]

Hi artists_death~WoW! Brand spankin' new to the Board and look where you are already...Welcome to TPS....This piece was exceptional in both it's imagery and format...I too like the repetition of "mud in the blood" and could not help but think of nothing but a body laying at the bottom of some waterway, or ever from the 1st v. my thought too was of the ocean....You have mad writing skill's and I hope to read you again, but this piece is ABSOLUTELY deserving of the Spotlight...CONGRATULATIONS! Musie

[artists_death]

You're very very kind :) I'm working on one right now, it may be narrative by nature. (?) I have no idea, it's still evolving and it's proving difficult. It came to me as I was driving a long long way, and I couldn't write while the muse was there. I'm left with images and sounds and textures. I'm hoping to recapture it. I hate it when epics escape me.

[~Sympathy~]

Glad to see you writing hun!! And very well done! =)

[artists_death]

Thanks :) It's been a rough row to hoe.

[SirFleshwound]

What a beautiful turn of phrase you have wrought here. The richness of your words have a depth and wisdom that soothes and hypnotises. A mighty impressive creation that has found a worthy home in the spotlight.