Skyline

[scapegrace]

Thunderheads and gunmetal clouds,
intrinsic synchronicity,
philter down, sinking in-
heart to mouth, sleeve to ground.
Muffled translations, a bell tolls twelve
lights out, la bella muerte.
Volcanic skyline, heavy hues-
dust and demigods; too few, too few.
A whispered warning, nose (dive) bleed
apart from you, adrift from me
The curtain call, rush velvet wave
crash by in a subconscious crawl.

How can you capitalize on a soul's demise?
This is your life through another's eyes.

Amputate, annihilate; please sirs, just a sip.
Surgeon General's Warning says:
cancer causing constellations;
explosive composite and black powder kits.
Atomized cities brush a crepe paper sky
beneath satellites and souvenirs.
Dead infinites, far flung and annexed by
their seraphims; the Serpens guides yon profiteers.

"I fear that we are such gods or demigods only as fauns and satyrs, the divine allied to beasts, the creatures of appetite, and that, to some extent, our very life is our disgrace." -- Henry David Thoreau

[jeremyf]

I love the sounds of this. A bit abstract and ethereal, but to read this out loud and enjoy you word plays and twists had me going over this one several times. I like the rhetorical question in the middle, the stand alone break. It worked as both a needed pause and an intensification, challenging your audience. Great write.

[Chelle]

several images came to mind out of this. cigarettes, vice, cancer, gluttony and more-your thoughts are all over the page but put together in phrases i never would have chosen. thanks for this mind trip.

[everhopeful]

This really is a fierce piece of poetry. Like Jer pointed out, the sound of it alone is to be appreciated, it's a criminally overlooked facet of poetry and it's something you've utilised to give this poem a feel that can't be achieved with images or metaphors alone. The speaker's view of the world is somewhat foreboding and darkly industrial, but it is powerful and passionate, satirical and razor sharp. I dig this one a lot.

[dead_sun_rising]

The diction carries weight throughout the piece, I feel battered. Great job.

[oortcloudtwo]

As I intimated earlier, this is a exceptional work of imagery. Like most of your poems, there is more here to feel on an emotional wavelength than to understand intellectually; not unlike abstract art. There are little pictures that spark me semiconciously, such as:

intrinsic synchronicity,
philter down, sinking in-
heart to mouth, sleeve to ground

It is more than just an excellent turn of phrase, it captures something that seems awfully familiar. I wonder if you do all of your writing around 3am, because that's when thoughts like these creep into my brain :) I also hugely appreciate the intertwined style. While the majority is abstractions, you add little bits here and there that are both Romantic ( Serpens guides yon profiteers) and Modernist (Surgeon General's Warning says: cancer causing constellations;) It's a unique blend of style.

I wonder about the Thoreau quote too. Some parts of this piece, such as the opening of the second stanza, seem to compliment what the quote asserts--that we are mere creatures of indulgence. Other parts are clear tangents from that quote. I wonder if these were your own deliberate indulgences? Perhaps you could enlighten me sometime...

[Luponero]

Ahh so many images. brilliant use of words and imagery in this piece. great work.

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow, what a great write this is! Razor sharp, raw, brutal almost! So glad I got a second chance to read this one... congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, it is much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo

[jsol]

I don't want my response to get as swept up in the piece as I did when reading and pondering it. Suffice to say that I've been roughed up by similar visions at times. That at times demanding answers from paradoxes is the most pertinent way for me to spend an evening. Great imagery and as mentioned before, what truly sets this apart is its very sound.

[trell11]

Several images and themes are generated throughout this poem. I get a sense of war or battle and bombs dropping. I love the line "Atomized cities brush a crepe paper sky beneath satellites and souvenirs." I also get a sense of greed that has generated such a catastrophe. Nice sophisticated writing where one gets lost in the imagery and ponders meaning. Thank you for sharing my friend.

[LivingWeDie]

I'm speechless.. My Intelligence bows before you. Well done, Well done Indeed.

[inflames]

I love the quote you've ended this with. Really insightful. This is a wonderful poem. Congrats on your spotlight!

[musie]

scapegrace~CONGRATULATIONS on the Spotlight~I will admit that I have not read you much, but after reading this, I must say I absolutely LOVED the Title of this, the skyline is where one might often see glaring warning's in one way or the other, and I think that's what you have done with this piece, is give us all warning's that we should heed....We are a self indulgent people, which lead's a lot of us down the wrong path weather it be that of gluttony, vice's etc., that eventually will lead to self implosion so to speak.....Abstract? Absolutely, but still very understandable and a very creative piece indeed....Musie

[everhopeful]

An absolutely pleasure to read this one again in the spotlight. I am still as struck by the sound of it as I was first time around, and your world view made for an utterly engaging read, brimming with original descriptions and a lot of energy.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Ladywildalice]

Congratulations on the spotlight. This is a beautiful write that pulls the reader into the action of your descriptions and makes them want to hang on, hoping it won't end. This was very lovely and much enjoyed. Thank you and again congrats.