Tuna Pie

[snapper]

Tuna Pie

This tuna pie’s to die for.
I’m hooked. I really am.
There’s nothing turns me on
more than an apron on a man.
I don’t mean one of those adorned
with corny one line humour … like
‘You won’t get Ptomaine poisoning.
My wife began that rumour.’
It’s kind of……you know, how they move,
and those expressive looks.
There’s something really sexy
about a man who cooks.
You sense that he’s intelligent
and funny and well read.
Articulate and best of all,
he’s dynamite in bed.
He must be round here somewhere.
Out beside the pool?
My God! I’ll give you odds
he’s the epitome of cool.”
Just then Mick wanders over.
“G’day love.” His first words.
“I see ya like me pie. Good girl!
It turns on all the birds.
I’m Mick and pleased to meetcha.
Yer in luck. on a win.
I’ve come to mark me patch
before some other bloke steps in.
I’m havin’ a little do tonight.
Should be quite a cracker
Lots of sheilas comin’.
One more shouldn’t matter.
We’re kickin’ off 'bout half past eight.
You interested or what?
Hey! Where you goin’ darlin’?
Somethin’ you forgot?
Jeez! … She must be feelin’ nervous.
I’m such a confident guy.
Ah well! The ocean’s full of fish.
At least she liked me pie.”

© Snapper

[Dew]

I loved it. This was so funny and creative...and let me just add that in Louisiana, a man who can't cook is a useless oaf with no friends. Women aren't allowed in my kitchen when I'm working! Out! heh---dew

[ladylynnmary]

Dearest snapper, oh god I so enjoyed this read. Very creative, clever and funny. Thanks for the laugh!

Much Love And Laughter,
ladylynnmary

[snapper]

Hi Dew and ladylynnmary I'm so glad you liked it. Very kind words, both.
Snapper

[SirDaniel]

I can cook but I'm not fond of it, I would rather do the dishes.. Entertainment in poetry. Enjoyed,

Daniel

[snapper]

Thanks again Daniel.
Snapper

[RogueInk]

Really clever piece full of sass. I enjoyed the Irish dialect in this. Well done!

[snapper]

Thank you Rogue.
Snapper

[QuietAstronomer]

Hilarious, snapper.
That n-e-v-e-r happened to me ;)
Great write.


QA

[snapper]

Thank you astronomer ... still time ?
Snapper

[nightseas]

A funny poem about alternative roles! Cool!

[flux]

This has fizz, it's lively, has rhythm and it's a smooth read, but mostly it's just great fun, and I can tell you had fun writing it, your enjoyment comes across very clearly.

[Forestdawn]

snapper: I adore tuna pie, it's one of my favs. and I also adore and respect any guy who cooks. I really loved your poem. Keep 'em coming.

[snapper]

To those of you who responded, Forestdawn ... flux ... nightseas ... many thanks and apologies for waiting a year or more for my thanks. I've not been an active member for a long period.
Snapper

[khurram]

Great poem ... Lotsa fun ... A man who cooks is desirable ... neat concept

[snapper]

Glad you enjoyed it Khurram.
Wazza

[BarryC]

incredibly clever write-well done

[Eddie strayed]

Very cleaver. I like the rhyming, In Aussie. Well written, thank you.