Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

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True~Reflection
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Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by True~Reflection » June 16th, 2013, 7:52 pm

Knock, knock.
No answer.

Touching that sphere
Forced the world in slow motion.
My fingers tightened, my heart sank.
In that moment, I knew,
I did not want to know
What was on the other side.

That cold ball in my hand
Told me the world was over.
The end had come.
Darkness had been here.

It was cold, like the barrel
Of that gun I found tucked
Beneath your pillow.
Cold like my heart,
Like the razor,
And stone solid skin.

I couldn’t turn it,
I couldn’t.
I stood there.
Your parents would be here soon.
At that I was always apprehensive.
Maybe you weren’t even home.
Like the nights I crawled through your window,
The bang was nothing, the giggles were giveaways.

Time stopped ticking.
Kept in track by the beats,
Of my red heart.
Doorknobs are funny shapes,
When you stop to think about it.
Little hearts in the palm of your hand,
So under appreciated,
Squeezed too tightly and ignored.

What was on the other side of that door,
I didn’t want to know,
What I already knew.
An eternity passed
In the millisecond it took me
To rip that heart out of it’s chest.

Your bathroom had always
Reminded me of a fluorescent heaven.
A too bright asylum I could only handle,
After a handful of drugs and
A decent shower.

I slipped,
But did not move.
This fluorescent heaven
Was stained in crimson rain.
A white noise of nothing,
Resounded with the crack of
My head on the linoleum.

The red, so startling,
Against the walls of
Your final cell.

You were too dark,
Against the floor.
Black.
A void.
A pale face, clad like
A raven.

Sleeping in a pool
Of precious rubies.
What had become of your
Wings?

Too pale to be your blood.
I tried, I tried to gather it up.
I tried mopping it together,
With my fingers.
The blood that I loved,
Too much to let decorate,
A pathetic fluorescent heaven.

My fingers red.
Your face white.
I laid there with you,
Waiting for the night.

Eventually, my stained delusions,
Pulled me away from the realm
Of being.

But then your parents came home,
And shattered my illusions
With their screaming.
Last edited by True~Reflection on June 17th, 2013, 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.


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Valentine
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Valentine » June 16th, 2013, 8:50 pm

A very cold and chilling write..well written and thought out..Valentine



ladymaybebaby
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by ladymaybebaby » June 16th, 2013, 9:59 pm

Wow, a stunning piece of poetry girlfriend! I love this one! Your talent totally shines in this piece, to say I was hooked would be an understatememt. Enthralled is more like it! Each line perfectly flows into the next, and I do mean perfectly, as if it was meant to be there, destined to be there. So many images... the speaker 'gathering the blood', this 'fluorescent heaven'... so haunting, but the love still so beautiful. This is headed straight for my bookmarked collection. Just amazing poetry!

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musie
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by musie » June 18th, 2013, 7:04 am

Hi TR~this could be a tale taken straight out of "Night Gallery" the imagery was both haunting and each line and vs. a thrill a minute..."thriller" and it gave me chill's to tell the truth....although I truly enjoyed this maginificent write from beginning to end the following I think were my fav. vs. :

"Sleeping in a pool
Of precious rubies.
What had become of your
Wings?"

"Too pale to be your blood.
I tried, I tried to gather it up.
I tried mopping it together,
With my fingers.
The blood that I loved,
Too much to let decorate,
A pathetic fluorescent heaven."

Such a well thought out piece of mad writing from your pen....excellent! Musie


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Dew
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Dew » June 19th, 2013, 8:00 am

Chilling...the small death in her regard and reaction was too accurate. The absurdity of the effort to move the blood back was a really telling mixture of psychology and carnality...some things we don't want to allow. A truly frightening account...so sad and disturbing...dew



Paralee
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Paralee » June 23rd, 2013, 1:44 am

I'll never look at doorknobs in the same way again. The round ones will be replaced tomorrow. What an incredible heart-wrenching poem. I'm sorry I can't critique the proper way, but the emotions keep me from even trying. It was darkness beauty, but don't ask what that means, I don't know. I was seeing that poem in my head as I read it, sometimes that's almost unbearable. But God, it was so good. Paralee



bandgeekfreak
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by bandgeekfreak » June 29th, 2013, 1:52 pm

This is riveting. My gosh, the imagery, the language, it was breathtaking. This kept me hanging on with each line. Just amazing.


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MusicMyLife
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by MusicMyLife » July 7th, 2013, 9:14 am

Just pure intelligence!! It flows remarkably well!!



True~Reflection
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by True~Reflection » November 30th, 2013, 4:01 am

This was difficult to write, but your words are comforting. I appreciate it in more ways than I could ever say. Thank you.


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karrie
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by karrie » March 16th, 2015, 8:03 am

Wow, what a spectacular piece of writing! The imagery popped out at me. Congratulations on the well deserved Spotlight!



Jim
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Jim » March 16th, 2015, 10:53 am

The anguish and pain resound with every line.
Deeply heart - wrenching piece .


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Liddie
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Liddie » March 17th, 2015, 1:20 am

This is the kind of poem that sits in the back of your mind once read. Disturbing. Painful. Perfectly written.



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UlfvarrOT
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by UlfvarrOT » March 18th, 2015, 2:47 am

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It's amazing. Congrats on the spotlight.


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everhopeful
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by everhopeful » March 20th, 2015, 1:22 pm

Building the opening half of the poem around such a small detail, the doorknob itself, really resonated with me. When you know that something lies on the other side which you are sure you don't want to see, it becomes so much more than the symbolism of each side of the door, it's like a marker in your life between the before and after - and faced with something of that scope, I think it's natural for your mind to focus on the more insignificant things, like the doorknob.
The latter half of this poem is also very creative in depicting the scene found by the speaker, and the way she immediately sees it. It seems like both a coping mechanism, and something which tells a lot about how shaken the speaker's world is.
A really emotive read, with subtlety and more graphic imagery, congratulations on the spotlight.



Philip16
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by Philip16 » March 22nd, 2015, 6:41 am

I think there are moments in life when there is a deep, primal "NOOOO!!!!" that pours out of our soul, and we are never quite the same afterwards. With outstanding attention to detail you have conveyed just such a moment that the reader can resonate with on a truly gut level.
Congrats...and I am still shaking!
Philip16


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linlin528
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Re: Doorknobs Are Not My Friends.

Post by linlin528 » March 23rd, 2015, 4:25 pm

This poem was all too real. It gave me chills and I kept going back to reread it. Absolutely brilliant.


"The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt it didn't matter." ~Edward Albee

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