Elen of the hosts

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markl1000
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Elen of the hosts

Post by markl1000 » July 19th, 2013, 4:31 am

Maximus Max Magnanimous Gloriosus
Absolute Legendary Epic Emperor Stupendous
would like to meet a Queen-Countess-Duchess-Empress with similar interests

larger and more beautiful
thinner and more dutiful



he dreamt of her
A cheeser
ate honey with her head and hands
dogs walked backwards
fish flying south
fish flying pigs

The running lost and falling
tunnels opening onto doors
opening onto tunnels
opening onto doors

doomy on deja temple mounts
castle gloom beside grief waters
in valley of miserable dolorous

across a boat forsaken
mountain storms the crest
a blue so blue that blue becomes yellow


dark fears dark mares
dream pychs
bride in witching
figure held in witching
himself

feet first on threshold
cold out the light
take up your bonny bridegroom
I have no more to do but die

meeting in state
living in state
a love worth living

He sang her in Golden chair
just his arms
sang, sleep,chair



Dew
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by Dew » July 19th, 2013, 7:07 am

You certainly have a unique and signatory-style of writing...almost mouth music. The first stanza was delightful....loved every syllable of it...and this part: "larger and more beautiful , thinner and more dutiful" was fun to pinball between for a while...got stuck there before descending into the haze below...fun reading you - dew



ladylilith
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by ladylilith » July 19th, 2013, 2:01 pm

I LOVE this. I do. It's a little bit crazy, but in the best possible way. It is just came alive for me, from the humorous start (that would be the BEST classified ad ever) to the rounded arc of a narrative you kind of take. It's like an obscure short story compacted into a poem. I really enjoyed this piece. Tres cool!

Lily^^


"The night is dark and full of terrors."

musie
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by musie » July 20th, 2013, 2:28 pm

I too liked the intro to this a lot...I could not help in the reading wonder, if this was built on some kind of folk lore or myth...as it kind of hint's at that I think, but then again, I'm most likely way off base..Very intriguing word behavior....Enjoyed....Musie


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markl1000
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by markl1000 » July 23rd, 2013, 10:07 am

re folklore thanks it is my retelling of the Mabingion a local to me welsh legend of the dream of maxen wledig
A medieval romance based on the real life story of a Romano british general who in the story dreams of his future wife the welsh princess Elen and sends out expeditions across the empire to find her
this is my modern version



npetley
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by npetley » February 10th, 2014, 1:40 am

I found this to be a delightfully vertiginous read. I love how you trimmed the fat to leave only the vivid. The solid structure and lyrical flow is inviting. --A clever way to deliver a captivating story.


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songofmeadow
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by songofmeadow » February 10th, 2014, 4:35 am

Inventive, original, makes me feel like I'm writing with my left hand (I'm right handed), as it knocks preconceptions of writing into a hat and invites the reader to step out of their comfort zone. Thoughts appear like balloons in my head, grouping and disbanding, cool affecting work mx


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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rupertpupkin
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by rupertpupkin » February 11th, 2014, 11:27 am

Hi. Really great stuff! Most deserving of a spotlight, well done, Sean.


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everhopeful
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by everhopeful » February 12th, 2014, 12:24 pm

Interesting to know this comes from Welsh folklore, especially as you've managed to retell it in a much more modern style. Reading it in a Welsh accent (in my mind, at least) gave it a new appeal too!
There's something about the loose style of it which feels accessible, with enough creativity in the syntax and roaming narrative to make for a really unique read.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



dwells
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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by dwells » February 14th, 2014, 7:12 pm

I'm 1/5 Welsh but alas it's been too long and Enya is my fav lately, cheers to you and an enthralling write Marcus!


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Re: Elen of the hosts

Post by Baywriter » February 15th, 2014, 12:15 pm

I really enjoyed the unique style of this write, particularly in the way you used your syntax. I also loved your use of repetition. Congrats on the spotlight. Well-deserved.

Bay


3 replies for every poem you post! You get what you give!

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