Death.

Post by **platinummoon** » July 7th, 2013, 8:32 am

Petals all white
Cover her still body
Her winter is here.

Post by **ladylynnmary** » July 7th, 2013, 2:35 pm

Dearest Patricia, this was a great write about death. Most times we feel sad but some believe they are going
to a better place.I hope that is true. Your words really touched my heart. A beautiful and sad write.

Much Love,
Lynn

Post by **ladymaybebaby** » July 7th, 2013, 2:38 pm

Love the metaphor in this one. The continuation of the whiteness and the other images that follow the original conceit of the petals and how you continue to build this one with the coldness of winter and close with that great line 'her winter is here'. Really a superb piece!

-LMB
xoxo

Post by **queenjellybean** » July 7th, 2013, 7:20 pm

Ooh, how nice, especially the last line. AS LBD said, the metaphor is wonderful here. The framing of this makes me wonder its location-if it's in a funeral home, a forest, etc. Still, this was a very good, intriguing write.

Post by **godsplat** » July 8th, 2013, 1:19 am

Hello platinummoon

With your words, death is beautiful; this is truly brilliant, truly!

godsplat

Post by **queenjellybean** » July 21st, 2013, 1:58 am

What a hauntingly beautiful poem, with a quiet meaningfulness to it. Congrats on the spotlight.

Post by **allmirth** » July 21st, 2013, 10:37 pm

Congratulations on a the Spotlight!

This is a simply beautiful piece of evocative poetry, with compelling imagery and strong emotional impact.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy

Post by **Dew** » July 22nd, 2013, 8:55 am

congrats! I love to see something short and beautiful...and the image of whiteness covering as a winter was really nice...almost an odd thing for the subject...somehow it works! - dew

Post by **tangerinepie** » July 22nd, 2013, 7:24 pm

Excellent poem that created a complete picture..A lovely spotlight choice..Tangie..

Post by **nightseas** » July 22nd, 2013, 9:33 pm

Great play on words and imagery--awesome poem!

Post by **wendellgee** » July 23rd, 2013, 6:46 am

timeless and unbelievably unified.

Post by **dornicks** » July 23rd, 2013, 2:54 pm

I think you used just the right amount of words to make this very visual. Not normally a fan of the short poem,this one is exceptional. Congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

Post by **inflames** » July 24th, 2013, 1:01 am

Subtle, short and powerful. This is wonderful. Congrats on your spotlight!

Post by **Sardonic Sadism** » July 24th, 2013, 10:54 am

I liked the connection between the white petals and winter. A choice few words arranged skillfully. Congratulations on the spotlight.

Post by **everhopeful** » July 24th, 2013, 2:58 pm

I'm guessing this may have originally been posted in the Japanese forms board, as it seems like it could be a haiku or senryu to me. The choice of the word 'her' in the final line suggests to me this is more in senryu territory, yet the choice of seasonal nature imagery makes for a very serene and respectful insight into death.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

My Work · Post by **Valentine** » July 24th, 2013, 3:08 pm

Having just sat 14 days watching my husband die, I find no mirth in this one sorry...Valentine

Post by **platinummoon** » July 24th, 2013, 3:16 pm

Valentine wrote:Having just sat 14 days watching my husband die, I find no mirth in this one sorry...Valentine

I have just sent Valentine a PM. MIRTH, was never intended by me when I wrote this Haiku.
Originally white was the colour worn in cases of death. Winter was meant to be used in place of Death.
I personally found this Haiku sad/ meloncholic.Patricia

Post by **Josie** » July 25th, 2013, 10:33 pm

Thank you for sharing and congratulations for your poem's recognition on the TPS Spotlight. I wondered as I read it what prompted this poem, was it an actual death or the feelings you wanted to communicate about death in general. I kept visualizing petals being dropped on a body, something I have never seen, so it seemed more surreal to me than an actual event. The petals could be symbolic as well as the color white.

Post by **platinummoon** » July 26th, 2013, 3:38 am

Hi Josie.
As a registered nurse I was present at many deaths. The one that inspired this Haiku was a German Lady of 50+. She had been a doctor but when I met her she was in the end stadium of life.
One day it snowed. We were alone and she looked sadly out the window, remarking that the snow flakes were her last flowers. It seems it was an old belief. When she died I imagined her covered in snow or white petals.

I believe that like plants and trees we sleep (die) in our Winters to make way for new plants (babies).
Thank you Josie and all the others who left reviews. Patricia
PS,. I'm new to Haiku and I love it.

Post by **flux** » July 27th, 2013, 4:46 pm

Excellent, you have a real talent for Haiku. This is elegant and it creates a profound and crystal clear image in the mind.

A well deserved spotlight.

Death.

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