wolf in our breath

[mangodog]

And so it seems
with daylight

logic warms
bones swivel and align
flexed are the muscles of smiles
politeness gets back its leash
we breakfast, sipping feelings
and chew the well-planned day

but notice at dusk, sometimes
that hint of wolf in the breath
a wild teasing of the eyes, now two shades darker
four or five emotions prowl and yip
and hunger turns strange, undomestic
desperate and bending bars
we eat and the craving commences
a secret need lurks, calls from the night

often the cage holds, sometimes not

so ironic
if this desperation does escape
its darkness, this creature may only
be asking for the gentlest slide of a hand
over the raised nape of our loneliness,

with the Master's eye
embracing us,
bosom to
bosom,

and lips
flexing and
moving to sooth
like beams of the moon
pawing at our trembling hearts

[Sasha]

An intense bit of writing with intense progression that was eloquently worded, though the ending is a bit slower and more serene, comparing it with the charged previous stanzas, like it was a bittersweet closure to the whole of the above.
I like how this knew the right moment to stop words to go further, but the meaning is clear in the reader's mind, and you did a great job with this one!
Striking work!

Sash

[everhopeful]

I have to echo some of Sash's thoughts on this one, the sense of progression is brilliant and really builds to a crescendo in the hungry wolf element of the poem. After such a gentle, softly spoken beginning, nightfall brings out a new animalistic side to the relationship, which is conveyed in a tastefully electric fashion.
From there you added another dimension to the poem, one which suggested this desire may stem from something more gentle and vulnerable.
Excellent work.

[candlewitch]

hello mangodog,

so ironic, this ravaging display
because might it only be
our desperation asking
for the gentlest slide of a hand
over the raised nape of our loneliness,

Oh yes...
this is just perfect...I identify!
always, Cat

[allmirth]

I am doubtful I can add any new insights, though I want to add my praise. I too appreciate the progression. The beginning is so casual and offhand, the intensity builds beautifully. This speaks of a deep and profound connection, body and soul. Wonderful poetry!

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[allmirth]

Well, I do not believe that I can offer any new insights, but, I certainly want to add my praise to this strong and original write. I too appreciate the progression. Th beginning is so casual and offhand, but the intensity builds beautifully, culminating in a profound sense of connection, body and soul. Wonderfully penned.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[mangodog]

I do love the fact
we lift and bump each other
no one flies alone


thanks.....Drew

[songofmeadow]

It's not what you say but how you say it, I may be bold but I defy anyone reading to deny that your words haven't resonated with them in places, a poem that strikes at the fragile hearts within in a wonderful, contemporary manner mx

[flux]

This breathes new life into a familiar subject. You avoid the easy path here, you aren't tempted to describe the animal in us as violent, dark and so on, as so many seem to do, instead you see the animal I recognise in myself, the animal that just wants a pat on the head.

This is very well written, nothing feels forced and you write with sincerity.

[dwells]

From the specific to the sublime (but I still smell mangoes on your breath Drew!) Cheers and this worked on several levels, magnificently. One of your best for sure - Dan!

[dornicks]

Would that I could phrase my praises of this piece so well as the previous comments. A good read. Congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

[karrie]

I very much enjoyed reading this. Wonderful write. Congrats on the spotlight!

[JASON]

yes, I see the cage as the constraints that society puts on us (the moral and
behavioural expectations).We all have that wild side,sometimes deeply hidden-
but there none the less. Congratulations on a very well written piece.

[rupertpupkin]

Hi. Brilliant word choices and amazing language throughout make this a wonderful read and a most deserving spotlight winner. I can't praise this highly enough, great job, cheers, Sean.

[everhopeful]

I really enjoyed reading this one again and seeing dusk as the middle ground between the civility of day and the animalistic side of night, there's enough ferocity to the passion to let us know exactly how the speaker feels, yet it's very tastefully done.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Dew]

The diversity of the animal kingdom is mirrored in the diversity of our personalities...one of my own children is a 'shark'...smells weakness in others and attacks it visciously...hard to combat!!! This poem reminded me of that...congrats on spotlighting!! - dew

[inflames]

This is incredibly beautiful. A wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing this! And congrats on a well deserved spotlight.

[Josie]

Congratulations on TPS Spotlight recognition of your poem "Wolf in our Breath". I love your lines:
logic warms
bones swivel and align
flexed are the muscles of smiles
politeness gets back its leash
we breakfast, sipping feelings
and chew the well-planned day

It sounds like the beginning of a wonderful day. Thanks for sharing.