Bar Fly (mature)

[everhopeful]

In the most complimentary way, this is an uncomfortable read. There's something all too real about it, and like many of the previous commenters, I've seen similar in my own life. While the physical descriptions are enough to inspire a sense of discomfort, it's the layer beneath which really makes me shudder. People don't really choose to go down this road, but knowing that they can feel so resigned to it being their lot in life makes you realise how fortunate some of us really are.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[dwells]

LWA - can't really say where this one came from. Some composite from the past most likely and a large dose of poetic license, cheers!

Mick - sometimes it's good to make us squirm in our comfortable chairs and to be reminded that there is another world out there. Agree with all you say and I've found that this piece resonates loudest with the few who have struggled, and been places that most of us will never know (thankfully).

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

Wow Dan I read the first take on this and got it then LOL... Yeah I totally get the second take go at it and as much as I enjoyed the first version before ahem ... well this is excellent use of imagery in poetry that I have ever seen at least in some quite time as relating to the title of said piece, because earlier today on another poetry forum I said something very close to that sentiment, but your poem here in relations to the title if you used just this line I get the term bar-fly completely and you are right even at my age of 42 most of my peers wouldn't get this term ba-fly at all. This part of the poem is really significant all so telling and really and the heart breaking part of this is what I picked as a quote from this poem is very revealing in a very sad way which makes this bookmarked for future reading and a most brilliant write of poetry Dan... Really Really enjoyed so thank you for sharing....

"Yet all the gods wept
as he borrowed her body
while she sang off-key
to yesterday"

I got the whole concept of the poem just with this stanza of verse in the narrators spot on words....

Congrats on the spotlight Dan it is well deserved my friend....

victor

[dwells]

Thanks so much Victor and your comment made my day, cheers pal!

[Mike6]

Congrats on the spotlight!

This is top notch writing, the descriptions made me particularly uncomfortable. And that's a good thing. You transported me into another world and really made me see what that world is made of. Very unsettling, but honest. I like that about this poem, it's gritty, it's raw but it's honest. Great writing, always a fan!

[dwells]

Thanks Mike and I love to dabble in reality / slice of life poetry on occasion. Glad it came across the way it did, cheers!

[jim_moonan]

Powerful piece of writing! So well constructed that I feel I am sitting across the room from her. I especially like the visceral images, feeling the woman is rotting from the inside out. But most impressive is the poems' ability to make you feel like you want to save her. Beautiful, sad piece of observational poetry. Thanks for writing!

[dwells]

Thanks JM and may you find whatever you seek in your poetic excellence because you are nearer than most of us to the wellspring of some greatness, cheers!