We can keep talking this way.

[flux]

I doubt that literature is life.
What is the best way to live?
Not all our love is for people.
What are my intentions here?
Severed...........separated
dis.........con.........nected
we.....are.....loose.....in
each........other's........heads.
We are flickering lights in
each.......other's.......minds.

I want very much to understand,
to see through disguises, blow away
shadows. Life rubs, and I toughen,
numbness settles around me, a callus
I want to scrub away until I am tender,
as super-real as the morning.
I want magic and find magic.
When magic goes away I drink beer.

Where are you now? What are you doing?
Where is your body and how does it feel?
You will not find me if you feel
B......L......A......N......K

I don't want to stay hidden. Silence
can be a weapon and a defence
but silence starves us. Ultimately
we have something worth saying.

You know what I want and what I don't,
use your imagination and fill in the spaces in between

nature family..........evening graveyard

mother brevity..........God brutality.



I wrote this for the weekly comp' but it was too long,
the limit was 100 words.

[Farkas]

Hi

Sometimes, when the spirit moves us, a hundred words are not enough. A flood of feelings, beliefs, understandings, and wishes makes up who we have been, who are, and who we want to be in a world framed by our perception. Such writing is a manifesto of us.

[Sasha]

I love this, and this is such a clever piece of work!
I think the rest expanded the answer to the first line, maybe it's life (alone) along literature (alone), they walk hand in hand. I love the interaction you created here, the way this addresses the 'you', and makes the reader part of your own thoughts and needs, and how you want them to complete your poem, but still in a clever ending and formatting, it ends in your own way, like unless you know the speaker well you get it right.
Wonderful work!

Sash

[ladylilith]

I love this too. The structure of it makes it really pop, and I was immediately eager to read it, read on, and keep reading. The opening line works as a great hook and I think there are some interesting ideas, and questions being asked, here. Such solid, sure work. I thoroughly enjoyed it, I feel I may come back to re-read it again later. :)

Lily

[dornicks]

You've covered a lot of ground in these hundred or so words. I enjoyed the read and glad you posted it despite the Challenge. Congratulations on the Spotlight.Thank you for sharing,

dornicks

[JASON]

hope the magic doesn't go away too often?
silence starves us but does it really?

[dwells]

Flux - "...you will not find me if you feel blank" is central to this piece, and I never write out of a sense of blankness, as long as my pen seems to know the way - and another adventure begins! Wine always seemed to be more magical than beer, at least to me. An unusually perceptive and insightful piece on why we write and what seems right, cheers! As an afterthought almost - I kept substituting "can't" into the title for some reason?

[allmirth]

I love the concept and the execution of this. This is such an engaging, imaginative and intelligent write. Congratulations on the Spotlight.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[LorettaYoung]

Very intriguing suggesting a conversation with your reader. You tell about the writer, and ask the reader who they are, reminds me of Jung's collective subconscious. Wonderfully done, Congratulation. Loretta

[flux]

Loretta, yes, I imagined my reader was with me, and I was having a conversation with them.

Thanks for the spotlight, it's an honour.

[Josie]

Silence may starve us, but solitude protects our privacy and individualism. It gives us the space to explore and study, or meditate and evaluate what is important in our lives. We are all so different and yet we need each other. I like to think of us as you put it: flickering lights in each other's minds. Our loves, interests, and desires all vary. Your spacing added depth to the ideas you expressed. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[Ladywildalice]

Congrats on the Spotlight. This piece was a definite shoe-in and I am most pleased to see it finally made it here. Your extended metaphor was very well explored and presented to keep not only the flow of the write tripping forward, but to keep your readers' attention and interest tripping forward as well. I truly enjoyed reading this and I can, without a doubt, understand how it ended up here, in the highlighted seat of honor for this week. Again congrats.

[dornicks]

As striking today as when I first commented. A worthy write. Congratulations on the Spotlight.Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[potentialpoet]

I'm probably too conventional to appreciate fully what you are trying to say here, or rather, how you are saying it. What I'm understanding as the essence of the poem is the need to be open to the rawness of existence. We hide our feelings. We fall easily into ways of thinking that are not original or personal. Our lives are unexamined, because it's too much work and perhaps too scary to confront a certain level of emptiness. I'm not sure if you really had any of this in mind.

The one line that I don't like is "When magic goes away I drink beer." Somehow that descends to the level of prose. It breaks the spirit of poetry that is present elsewhere in your work. I do like your experimentation with how the words get spaced to make the reader think about them a little longer and more in depth than if they were written in a straightforward manner.

[generictruth]

I was reading through this poem, intrigued from the start, but you really caught me with the line "dis con nected" It was so simple,but the cleverness of the way you wrote it down made it that much better. I can see why this is on the spotlight, the flow and style of the piece alone could put it up here. Let alone how raw and downright delightful it was.

[flux]

Thanks for your thoughtful comments, they're really appreciated.