Love Pantoum..To Live Again..

[tangerinepie]

To Live Again
Tangerinepie





Through your eyes..the day unfolds, a pleasing and defining shape.
The thinness of the air gives way to liberating calming breath,
As the stifling shutters of the crying chamber slowly blow agape.
Untainted..your devotion may delay my premature escape to death.

The thinness of the air gives way to liberating calming breath.
You came to know me with ice water coursing through my veins.
Untainted..your devotion may delay my premature escape to death.
Your devotion now the focus, as I let go of life's pernicious pains.

You came to know me with ice water coursing through my veins.
How your heated gaze upon me, restored my hidden strength.
Your devotion now the focus, as I let go of life's pernicious pains.
Touch me as you please..to keep you.. I will press to any length.

How your heated gaze upon me restored my hidden strength.
I never knew that gray flecked eyes could capture all my trust.
Touch me as you please..to keep you.. I will press to any length.
For your words and deeds will follow me until I return to dust.

I never knew that gray flecked eyes could capture all my trust.
No nothing lasts forever..except your sculpture of my face.
For your words and deeds will follow me until I return to dust.
Now we with wonder deified-- succumb to loves embrace.

Through your eyes the day unfolds a pleasing and defining shape
As the stifling shutters of the crying chamber slowly blow agape.

[dornicks]

I'm lost for the words that you clearly have in abundance,but can say that I thought this was a wonderful piece of writing. I felt the repetition in parts was appropriate. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[dwells]

"The shuttered crying chamber and then eventually, pressing to any length' - uniquely you Tangie. I'm starting to get a feel for this fine form and this was so well done, I shall return later to study in-depth. To be born again, free from pain in loving arms - exquisite and extraordinary, cheers!

[tangerinepie]

Hi Vin..So appreciate your comments on this poem.I know how well you might relate to this and I am so glad you read it..TY so much..Tangie..

Dwells..I felt uplifted by your kind words.In finding that one true person who believes in us, we can see light again..TY so much..Tangie..

[allmirth]

The repetition works most effectively to build the emotional intensity. Beautifully poetic.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy

[Balustrade]

Love - what it dies to us, and how it salvages us and makes us tranform from hopelessness to hopefulness.

[tangerinepie]

My thanks for taking time to read this poem..I appreciate your thoughts..TY so much..Tangie..

[JASON]

and the north shore BRINGS IT again...
Spotlight - any day, any day !!
I am at a total loss for words - roll over all you old time love poets.
whilst the repetition works so beautifully,I felt the impact of the single line:
'I never knew that grey flecked eyes could capture all my trust'
He must be the real deal.

[tangerinepie]

Jason..I could not let this comment go by unanswered, because it was so touching and most humbling.In writing about love, we can I believe come to understand the power of it, and I thank you for taking time to read this poem..Tangie..

[knpoet]

I don't know much about the Pantoum, Tangie, but this was such an impressive piece of writing and you have mastered it so well that I think I will have to give it a bit more attention from now on. Congratulations on your place in the Spotlight, dear - you have certainly earned it with this lovely piece of poetry!

Kathy

[dornicks]

Pleased to see your piece has made it to the Spotlight,deservedly. Even better second time round. Congratulations,

dornicks

[inflames]

Tang, this is beautiful. I love the imagery and the sweetness of this piece. Congrats on your spotlight— well deserved!

[rupertpupkin]

Loved the skilful use of repetition and adored many of the word choices and the language used. Great job Tangie and well done on the spotlight, Sean.

[tangerinepie]

My thanks and appreciation to all who support and guide me on TPS.As a family here, we gain momentum only through the writings of others who inspire us.I am totally awed by this honor and thankful..Tangie..

[Josie]

Enjoyed your Love Pantoum! The power of rhymes and repetition are blended in a pleasant way to help the reader hold the promising message of love to the N who embraces life with renewed trust.

[nortan223]

The pantoum shares the power of the villanelle by the repetition of its salient lines.
Tangie, you have brought this to a peak in this wonderful evocation of renewed love and devotion, emphasised by your command of words, which are such a feature in all your writing.

Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight.

Norman

[Sasha]

This is such a seamless write, you don't get tired of repetition as each line was employed differently in each quatrain and beautifully so. I love the theme, the lovely imagery put in soft expressions, I thought that was just wonderful with wonderful end.
I really appreciate whoever works on form poetry, it takes a lot of work, and you write down something beautiful as this, so kudos for that, and Congratulations on the deserved Spotlight, Tangie!

Sash