Parade

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Rainman
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Parade

Post by Rainman » June 22nd, 2014, 5:31 pm

And now another wan parade -
you sit bedecked in streamers,
touching up your wounds in carmine shades,
sneaking out of nailbars past
the pickpocket nuns,
and catching the light just so.
How thin you seem,
and sad in subtle ways.
Do we love you yet?
I cannot tell.

Make a wish, say the crows,
with generous cackles,
all this can be yours.



JASON
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Re: Parade

Post by JASON » June 23rd, 2014, 3:14 am

2nd poem about the crows - would love to hear your take on them...
I just really like the way you write - stellar job as always!



ladymaybebaby
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Re: Parade

Post by ladymaybebaby » June 23rd, 2014, 11:09 am

Nice job on this write! Really hooked me and drew me in. I love when poetry has that effect on me... most impressive when it's an OM! A treat to read this gem, so glad I stopped in for the read!

-LMB
xoxo


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My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Mr D
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Re: Parade

Post by Mr D » June 23rd, 2014, 12:51 pm

Hi...dunno if we 'met' officially.... im quite crazy..meaning I think in unusual ways..
This was macabre to me, sadistical in a crow-ish way... I see this written from the crow's perspective, painting its ideal 'show' to entertain a visceral instinct... domination.
Yea....I liked this, thanks for sharing this,
D



dwells
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Re: Parade

Post by dwells » June 26th, 2014, 7:50 pm

Kudos for using the seldom seen "wan" word perfectly in the parade metaphor; we are all human floats, and this image rapidly increased in clarity, insecurity, and despair - while the crows wait and watch. A magnetic and magnificent work RM (keep your wallet in your front pocket) - cheers!


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contessa_veeden
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Re: Parade

Post by contessa_veeden » June 28th, 2014, 4:03 pm

Very mysterious and captivating to read. I like how the parade is turned into something slightly dark


~The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first~

potentialpoet
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Re: Parade

Post by potentialpoet » December 8th, 2014, 8:14 pm

I don't really know what you are saying. You say it with great economy without sacrificing a richness of imagery and association. I guess this has something to do with human frailty.


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Josie
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Re: Parade

Post by Josie » December 10th, 2014, 2:02 am

Whoa! Those crows struck me as being rather sinister. And, 'ouch!' Narrator seems to be able to turn his love off. I felt the pain of 'you' in carmine shades. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight recognition.


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BarryC
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Re: Parade

Post by BarryC » December 10th, 2014, 3:21 am

deserves the -spotlight well done



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tangerinepie
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Re: Parade

Post by tangerinepie » December 13th, 2014, 6:46 pm

A very well put together abstract write that the reader can decipher in many ways.Since crows are extremely intelligent, I quite imagine they might observe humans with amusement.An interesting spotlight choice..well done..Tangie..


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