Unwashed Poetry (IK)

[allmirth]

Unwashed Poetry

She rarely speaks without weighing words
Or leaves them on the page unwashed
For they come out shimmering
But, shapeless
Shimmering and unwashed?
It seems a contradiction
Like a child newly born
Coated with the struggle
Careful-
Tread lightly here
Summer is glaring
And you are unclean

[ladymaybebaby]

I take this one as the process of writing an OM, very clever! I never even considered that... it's a very cool concept the way of not being able to 'wash' your words as they are born. I especially like the image of 'shimmering and unwashed' it made me think of a baby. Like words, when born they are beautiful even before they are washed and cleaned up as we think or feel we need them to be. Been waiting for this one all day! Kickin the IK on the OM!

-R
xoxo

[Dew]

I loved even the title...the comparison between OM and unwashed poetry made perfect sense to me. And I loved exploring it as a metaphor for considering your words in your mind before speaking versus blurting out everything unfiltered. There is something pure and natural about un-weighed words and unfiltered thoughts. Something is in there...its good to recognize the impulse and instinct that dwells in us before we use experience and logic and principle to refine the raw material into something we want to show people! - dew

[things_i_wrote]

this is very clever title ..cause as soon as i read it..it just tells that we really are in the OM ..so
i like the metaphors which is the words are just told unwashed
that was pretty smooth and cool poem
i also like how you resembled it with a new baby's born he doesn't know anything just here
for the life that was apt

cheers..>TIW

[Mike6]

I loved the final three lines here. I could echo what everyone else has said but I want to focus on these three lines primarily. They have a very ominious feel to them--actually the last four lines! Yes, the last four lines have a very ominious feel to them and serve almost as a warning. I love how you incorporate nature into this. It's something that you wouldn't expect to fit so nicely, but does anyway. Awesome work. Lovely OM!

[songofmeadow]

I thought of doing a poetry themed OM but so pleased I didn't, fascinating work that attempts to define what is undefinable in a way sort of makes me go crazy just thinking about it and definitely want to read again mx

[ladylilith]

'summer is glaring/And you are unclean' - I love how you leave this piece. It's almost a threat, but I also felt like it was offering something softer too. Somehow. I'm not sure! Heh. Maybe that contradiction, or more, juxtaposition, of 'shimmering and unwashed' carried me through, and continued to direct my interpretation. I really like that doubled up feel- like something can be two things at once.

Great work!

Lily^^

[everhopeful]

I have to jump aboard the bandwagon regarding the last four lines too, there's something about them which marks a distinctive change in the tone of the poem that I felt myself step back! Perhaps it's because you don't seem like the threatening type, but I can't help but wonder if those words are directed back at the speaker? In context with the earlier lines it suggests that the speaker fears her unwashed words might reveal something she'd rather dress up differently.
An apt piece, an OM on OM, raw ars poetica!
Enjoyed this one.

[LaLunaluss]

Your poem perfectly meet the OM conditions from two perspectives
First, it is written in a soft and spontaneous way. and second it deals with the way people sometimes speak without really thinkign twice, and that is not always positive.
As always it is a pleasure to read your writing. thank you for sharing.

[Sasha]

I just love this idea of 'unwashed poetry', it's really cool!
I like this paradoxical sense of this, though the poet might not be aware of that, but her words were strikingly put here, like each word falls into its place - wonderful!
And I like how this brings something new to the 'her' in the poem, and let the reader know that this is something new to her, but I think she did exceptionally well ;)
'Like a child newly born' - that was always my take on writing first draft poetry, while life makes changes on children, poets edit their poetry, it's quite a perfect analogy!
I love the language here, and this fine OM!

Sash

[Baywriter]

Really cool piece. I think the parallel between 'washing' and 'editing' poetry is cool and you've played it out well and kept it consistent throughout the poem, all the while bringing up other compelling ideas and images. My favorite lines were these: "Like a child newly born/ Coated with the struggle." I especially love "coated with the struggle." If you've seen a newborn baby immediately after birth, this is such a dynamic image and evokes the turmoil and struggle of creating a poem in a really unique way. This is skilled writing, Mirthy. Really, really great job.

Bay

[candlewitch]

dear Mirthy,

what can I say after all those glowing comments? except that I really loved this piece and especiallly these lines:

It seems a contradiction
Like a child newly born
Coated with the struggle

wonderful imagery here, great simile! good luck with IK.
always, Cat

[created2write]

Great OM Mirth-

Loved the title and the approach too- a little discombobulated if you will.

This verse captured and held...loved all of it but this stands out to me. Excellent my dear.

It seems a contradiction
Like a child newly born
Coated with the struggle

[dornicks]

I'm more than happy to agree with the previous comments and found this to be a poem to remember. Thank you for sharing,

dornicks

[inflames]

I really identify with this poem- I feel like this is why I can't write anything (and haven't in a long time). Nothing looks tidy enough. Great poem!

[Jaz]

The fact that this was OM, or least thats what assume from the comments, astounds me because it is simply a stunningly crafted piece. I really like the idea that the title suggests, unwashed poetry; its almost kind of like someone forgot about it in a sense. Deserved spotlight, well done! :)

[potentialpoet]

What caught my ear was "Like the child newly born, coated with struggle." I saw, participated in several births, as a nursing student and as a parent. I can't imagine you could come up with such a potent image without some personal experience with birth.

I have to say that I'm not sure what "Careful- Tread lightly here, Summer is glaring, And you are unclean"
means. The poem seems descriptive of something like a process that is a struggle between what is intuitive and spontaneous what is edited, reflected upon and shaped after "birthing" takes place.

As a visual artist, I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to violate the purity of expression, especially when it is done to ameliorate the rawness of the content. Maybe that has something to do with these last lines.

Regardless, I enjoyed the poem very much.

[sparky21737]

Congratulations on a well deserved spotlight. This is a beautifully written piece and a spectacular OM. Again, congrats

Sparky

[Wynmaiden]

I read this one three times and I'm still in awe of this piece. Truly beautiful and truly thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing and you definitely deserve this Spotlight. :)

[Jovel320]

Love your metaphor of "unwashed poetry" and wish I had thought of that!!! Let me know if I can use it and give you credit. I have some rumblings in my brain regarding this. I truly enjoyed this piece!!!
Jovel