Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas
Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Ladywildalice » March 2nd, 2014, 12:54 pm

Shakespeare's Hamlet Act 5 Scene 1:
" Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that."

Image



Where went the colors, the scents, the warmth of those riotous twins, Spring and Summer? For they fell to the twisted death of skeletal Winter..............Yet I hear the writhing beneath the ground, the twisting, and readying has begun. It is slow, sinuous, slyly it slithers readying itself to leap ............so now, the Stage is set.........the lights dim..................the crowds waits...........breaths held for the grand entrance.....................

Act 1..... Scene 1....Stirrings

Cavernous, the melting, muddy maw that lies far
beneath abandoned landscapes, lunar grey in
loveless shades, given up for dead, coated with
absent warmth and indifferent tints of nothing.

As blood dripping from a careless gash, so goes the
diffusion of cursed rime, like amoebic dart and
dash, ebbing un-noticed, melting, running through
fractured fissures of imperfect lost beauty.

There, in those unwinding burial places,
the awakening arrives. Zombie-atic, the rot
falling away in pieces, the core emits rebirthing
sparks, stretching, groaning toward the surface.

Waiting for the blinding stab, the searing light,
piercing in transforming painful bliss, and then
the shredding seed, the breasting buds, unfurling,
unwinding, wending upward, outward, toward eruption.

And the whispers become riotous in chorus
Crocus Arias strummed by Butterfly proboscis,
Rose Movements played on Cricket strings,
accompanied by Purple Martin Flutes............

performed for a hungry audience, rushing
for a front row seat and the opening First Act
of SPRING, center stage, with a cast of thousands
as from Stage Right the Sun waits for his Cue.
Last edited by Ladywildalice on September 9th, 2014, 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

User avatar
QuietAstronomer
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2413
Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:05 pm
Location:Induron,My Induron. Where else would I rest?
Contact:

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by QuietAstronomer » March 2nd, 2014, 2:12 pm

Very nicely done , mlady.
As ever, you progress from the premise to a well wrought piece full of mind boggling conceptual phrasing and comment.
Glorious.

QA


Three for one will get it done.
(Three Comments per Post kidlets.)

gooseberry
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:988
Joined:May 28th, 2012, 11:54 am
Location:The Periphery

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by gooseberry » March 3rd, 2014, 6:49 pm

This is gorgeous writing LWA!! The stirring of spring moves surely through some tempestuous imagery.'Lunar grey in loveless shades' and 'Zombie-atic,the rot falling away in pieces' are just two examples of fantastic imagery in a poem bursting at the seams with the thrusting emergence of new life.By turns grotesque and beautiful,this is a sumptuous feast played out in front of a captivated audience.Bravo and a bunch of flowers tossed onto the stage!!


Image
Image
Image
Image

Sasha
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2426
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Sasha » March 5th, 2014, 6:32 am

Love, love, love this!
This is such a well composed piece of poetry; the inspiration behind this, and the way you completed the 'waiting' in a beautiful, beautiful poem. As usual, this vivid imagery that was slow, exciting, sly, was elegantly and carefully put, and Gosh, I love this!
Striking, enjoyable work!

Sash



User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Ladywildalice » March 6th, 2014, 6:50 am

Thank you so very much for the lovely words of encouragement. Sad thing is it doesn't take much encouragement for me to rush to the computer and put words there that would, perhaps, be better off remaining in my head. LOL. I love you all. Thanks again.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

ladymaybebaby
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:5371
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 11:37 am
Location:dying in the heat and humidity that is New Orleans

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by ladymaybebaby » September 6th, 2014, 5:24 pm

Wonderful work my dear I missed on the first go round! An amazing story that just draws the reader in. You've always written such beautiful stories as well, so I am not surprised at all to see this one in the spotlight! Much deserved and Congratulations!

-R
xoxo


Image

Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

User avatar
allmirth
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4578
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:20 pm
Location:Cajun Country

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by allmirth » September 6th, 2014, 7:25 pm

This is a beautifully imaginative and descriptive piece of poetry. I love the dramatic construction and the employment of Shakespeare. This is such a vivid and rich write. I now have Spring Fever, as I await the promise of the cooling Fall. I am so glad this is Spotlighted, I had missed on the boards. Congratulations.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


Image

LorettaYoung
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:984
Joined:April 6th, 2014, 6:03 pm
Location:Woodstock, NY

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by LorettaYoung » September 7th, 2014, 2:21 pm

What an incredible delight, to me, the words of dream, so rhythmical I wanted to keep reading but had to stop just to appreciate in joy the sounds. Congratulations, a spectacular writing. Loretta



flux
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2427
Joined:April 15th, 2012, 12:04 pm
Location:North Wales coast.

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by flux » September 7th, 2014, 3:33 pm

As allmirth said, very imaginative. Much of what I wanted to say has already been said in other comments, so I'll just say well done for having this spotlighted.


Make fellow poets happy and comment on their poems.



ImageImageImageImage

User avatar
Josie
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:770
Joined:May 27th, 2012, 10:31 pm

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Josie » September 8th, 2014, 7:14 pm

Magnificent! I will never think again about approaching spring and summer without imagining the skull of Yorick, the jester rushing to the dead Ophelia who is 'coated with absent warmth' 'so lunar grey in loveless shades' and encouraging her to apply makeup paint an inch thick and laughingly come to Hamlet.

How beautiful is this stanza that describes the patient longing for the appearance of spring!
Waiting for the blinding stab, the searing light,
piercing in transforming painful bliss, and then
the shredding seed, the breasting buds, unfurling,
unwinding, wending upward, outward, toward eruption.


Image Image

User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Ladywildalice » September 10th, 2014, 6:32 am

Thank you for the lovely comments from you all. This was quite the surprise and means a great deal to me. How blessed am I, indeed, with such gracious friends and acquaintances?


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

dornicks
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:3344
Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by dornicks » September 12th, 2014, 4:32 pm

I struggled a little but soon fell in with the other commentees. Both imagination and your skills shine in this piece. Thank you for sharing and congrats on the Spotlight.

dornicks


Image

potentialpoet
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:139
Joined:September 12th, 2014, 3:11 pm

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by potentialpoet » September 13th, 2014, 5:46 pm

I don't know if it's a good idea to reply without reading what others have said, but that is what I'm doing.

Your poem is a profusion of great images couched in metaphor and music (alliteration). For such a well worn subject (the arrival of spring), you've managed to make it sound fresh. But on the other hand, it also strikes me as somewhat overblown, especially when I wasn't sure where you were going based on the first stanzas describing the dead earth. Maybe it's not possible to approach this subject without conjuring up the memory of many other poems about this event.

In some ways, I think your obvious ability to use words in a poetic way is really what this is about. Spring is just an excuse to put your talent on full display. I certainly admire your ability to shape language to your needs.

Finally, it isn't clear to me what the connection is between the poem and the quote from Hamlet. Yorick is being fondly remembered when his bones are unearthed. It seems to be more about death and has nothing to do with rebirth. However, I guess you could say that it sets the stage for considering how the earth, once dead in winter, returns anew in spring...or even how Yorick lives anew through Hamlet's memory of him.


Image

dwells
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:11233
Joined:August 19th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location:South Florida, U.S.A.

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by dwells » September 14th, 2014, 2:29 am

Congratulations on this spotlight Sue, and another superb bit of immaculate imagery comes around again with each awakening. Apt metaphors, and those subterranean stirrings grow loudest when we are moved most profoundly by them in our prime; yet we will always remember. Cheers for this lithe and lovely changing canvas Lady!


Image
ImageImage Image

User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: Act 1, Scene 1....Stirrings

Post by Ladywildalice » September 14th, 2014, 8:21 am

My sincere thanks to all TPS members who took a moment from their busy lives to share themselves and their thoughts with me, and to allow me to share a bit of myself with them. It is a lovely thing, to receive such wonderful words of encouragement and support, and I feel so very blessed. Again, my sincere appreciation.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

Post Reply