HOW TO BE A POLITICIAN

[nortan223]

Note: As this refers to the British political system, I will be happy to explain any unfamiliar terms if you wish to PM me
.....Norman.....

I am the very model of a modern politician
I'm arrogant, dissembling and only have one mission
It's convincing my constituents I'll always give them precedence
But - I wouldn't want to live among them in my private residence.
Then any awkward questions I can answer with a plethora
Of platitudes and homilies on nothing in particular

For if I'm Ruling party, I must never rock the boat, you see
As my Chief Whip says “Support your Leader, even if you don't agree”
But if I'm Opposition, I am in the best position
For I can always then disclaim any hint of guilt or blame
When challenged on a Government decision.

I can simply obfuscate and blame the whole electorate
For having voted in the other lot.
But as for ever trusting my success at future hustings
I don't really give a tittle, wit or jot.
For it doesn't bother me, as I know, eventually
I shall leave this sick manipulative game
For I have been assured, I'll be on some Company Board
Who'll employ me, just so they can use my name.

[Rainman]

Ha! Nicely done, Norman.
A tribute to Gilbert & Sullivan?
Back in Shakespearian times the word "politician" was a dire insult, just about the worst thing you could call someone who held public office.
Enjoyable read with some commendable wit!

[dwells]

Hi Norm and "hustings" was a new term for me. Another clever political diatribe and scathing satire that lends itself well over here too, sadly. Some of your internal rhyming was just exceptional. Nature of the Beast I'd guess - catering to those who have the most; while seeming to serve the least. Sophists all - and now you're getting me all fired up about term limits, cheers! - Dan

[nortan223]

Thanks Rainman.... G & S always seem to prompt me to "go political". Perhaps Iolanthe was more prescient about Westminster than I first realised.

Dan.... Watch your blood pressure!!!! Think of sophistry as another art form like satire - they are laughing at us.....

Cheers Norman

[godsplat]

Hello nortan223, I enjoyed your poem, I like the way you ended it, very nice, made me smile!

[dornicks]

How neatly and honestly summed-up your piece is from start to finish. My hat's off to you,sir. Thank you for sharing this,

dorrnicks

[dwells]

Hustings - a platform where Members of Parliament are introduced, a place for giving speeches, a soap box in Americam parlance, cheers! - Dan (this was too funny)

[potentialpoet]

It doesn't seem to matter what political system, whether British or American, you are writing about, because the rules of the game remain the same. The saying that goes something like, "We get the government we deserve" rings true. Politicians are a mirror of those who elect them. People don't like to take stands, be principled, or courageous. We like our distractions more than we want to deal with issues.

This poem does an admirable job of summing that up, and what I really like is the irony of having a politician say it, knowing full well that there are no consequences for doing so. He's just doing what everyone expects and dismisses with a wink and a nod.

[LorettaYoung]

Congratulations on the spotlight, which you shine on absurdity in government. Haven't seen a good anit-govt
poem in a long time. It's for real, but love the humor as well. Loretta

[AnIdeasman]

This is hilarious. Congratulations on getting the spotlight, it's much deserved.

[ladymaybebaby]

First of course congratultions on the spotlight! Thank you for adding the a/n... I happen to have BBC broadcast on my cable feed here in America, so I am kind of familiar with this one. No I didn't get all of the words used,
by google is my freind and I love him!

Well done Nortan, as always!

-LMB
xoxo

[dornicks]

I enjoyed reading this again and congratulate you on getting the Spotlight. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[Josie]

Often when I turn on the news, it is so depressing, It does not matter what party is in power at the time. The follies of human nature are found on all sides. Sometimes the only thing a person can do is laugh, and I think we all thank you for that! Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[everhopeful]

They do say that many true words are spoken in jest. And while this is tremendously funny, I think the fact that this is so on the mark in terms of people's perception that makes it so enjoyable. I had a feeling I was going to like this one a lot after the first two lines, but these ones sealed the deal:

"It's convincing my constituents I'll always give them precedence
But - I wouldn't want to live among them in my private residence."

And they wonder why so many people can't even name their local MP!
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[nortan223]

Many thanks, everyone for all your kind ( and approving) remarks ).
I had already checked that "Lèse-majesté" is not currently part of the British Constitution, so I anticipate being safe until the next election.
Norman