Fifty Shades of Grey

[rupertpupkin]

Fifty Shades of Grey.

The weather here in Ireland's
enough to drive a man insane.
We sun bathe at sixteen degrees
and barbeque in the rain.
We get that damn precipitation
every night and every day.
That's why we've forty shades of green
and fifty shades of grey.

I think God must be a protestant
though I'm speaking for myself.
For the only sunny day we get
is on the bloomin' twelfth.
When the Orangemen go marchin'
along the queen's highway.
Then when they pack up we return
to fifty shades of grey.

Now that young lad Jamie Dornan
is irish through and through.
He took himself to Hollywood
to star in somethin' blue.
But I know he'll be returnin'
when the glitter fades away
and he'll take an awful slaggin'
over Fifty Shades of Grey.

[karrie]

This made me laugh! So funny!

[rupertpupkin]

Thanks very much karie.

[Ladywildalice]

Quite enjoyable bit, here, and thoroughly appreciated. There are many who should read this and take it to heart, in more ways than one. Great humor, wonderful job.

[JASON]

This stupid movie has smashed all the box office records in S.A.
- How can drivel like this be such a drawcard to society at large???
Sorry for the rant.
Your poem was fantastically clever - loved the 40 shades of green
and the suntanning in the fridge -
I really would love to visit Ireland someday

[Alan]

"to star in somethin' blue" - amazing use of a non-visual description of a colour.

Because it's humour, I kinda figured that "grey" was relating to the sky or something unrelated to the book/film. But even though I predicted that, I really liked your Irish customs in the first stanza with my favourite being "barbecuing in the rain". (I'm from Vancouver so I understand completely)

I also liked some of your phasing, like "take an awful slaggin", because it just adds character to the ambiance to your poem's setting.

[rupertpupkin]

Thanks very much everyone.

[dwells]

Good one Sean and I've not seen the flick and probably won't, since they all started to look the same (the movies that is). A clever climatological creation on display with the greens and the gray (proper spelling ). I never understood the religious history conflict, but assume it's a typical conflict between occupier and occupied; way back when. Recall the IRA and Lord Mountbatten's yacht - oops!
The Emerald Isle calls but my golf game has abandoned me to the duffer ranks - cheers! - Dan

[Dew]

Marvelous, relevant, timely humor! So crass and clever! I admire your skill in crafting this golden ticket to chuckle-land...and in case I haven't said so already....LMFAO! - dew

[rupertpupkin]

Thanks everone for reading. Cheers.Sean.

[Pogi Vic]

I enjoyed reading this poem. Hope to read more of your works.

[Pipebomb Poet]

It's pretty funny and witty. I like the 40 shades of green as well, great way to describe the Emerald Isle.
Well done!

[Richard Beevor]

Brilliantly funny, I have some small experience of Ireland and can confirm this is all the truth, excellent work

[mwunk800]

I enjoyed this poem very much. God must be a Protestant, very funny.

[ramfire]

I've always like Irish stories and jokes. I like the Irish saying about being drunk."Call no Irishman drunk until he can't hold on to a blade of grass."

[unsinkmolly]

50 shades of TPS trophy gold! Great poem, btw. Appreciated the blue reference especially!

[Ransford_Rowe]

Made me smile and a really enjoyed the rhythm of the poem.The famous Irish sense of humour comes through in this poem.Im persuming the writer is Irish.Even managed to shoe horn abit of irish politics in it and made a joke about it.

[Ransford_Rowe]

Just re read this poem and got the reference about the guy in fifty shades of grey.To be honest most of the comedy poems on here dont make me laugh despite being well written.This one is the same.Only joking since this poem is funny I think.Hope you post more comedy poems.

[Josie]

Dear Sean,
Thoroughly enjoyed your humor and the musicality of 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. Growing up on the coast of California, north of Eureka, I experienced weeks of gray skies from all the rain and the luscious green forests as a result. Barbecuing outside was wishful thinking most of the time. This year may prove to be the exception with the drought. Loved the Irish connection to history and present time. I felt the Narrator's lilt of the Irish tongue.

[WriterMinuit]

Fellow Irishman,

Brilliant write. This was incredibly funny. I can empathize wholly with the BBQ business-- never has County Antrim seen sunshine! I would presume your Irish humour is in particular Ulster? I guess that only from the religious element. God must have converted to Catholicism, since the 12th this year was not all that good! Thoroughly enjoyed. Congrats in the spotlight.