Punch Line

[KennyWebber]

It's one of those nights.
Shaking, shivering, and unable to sleep
Blow cigarette smoke out the bathroom window
Draped in a misplaced sense of comfort

Feeling like just maybe I can turn things around
Like everything is under control, everything but my eyelids
and who knows, maybe I'll fix that too, because I'm feeling
Something

Feeling fine

Until she arrives screaming
About the smoking and long hours
The shaking
About the absence of normalcy
About anything
About everything
She is screaming to scream,
and these things are contagious, you know?

I am pulled in by the notes of the siren song

We are silly broken things
Imperfect skipping stones
Looking across the lake front,
to see where happiness lives

She brings the dog outside for me to pet
Nods to me as my guts spill
smiles
The siren song becomes melodic and soothing
Things will be all right again

Until the police lights arrive

Cascades of red and blue cast upon the front lawn
I turn for answers but she stares at her feet
What will you buy with your thirty pieces of silver?
I pull another smoke from the pack
and await the might of the Roman Legions

It's one of those nights
Shaking, shivering, unable to sleep
Thinking of blowing cigarette smoke from the patrol car window
Draped in a misplaced sense of comfort

The officer tells me about white water rafting
Says he found himself in the rapids and the wild
and I tell him I'm trying to do the same:
to find myself in my music and my art,
but that I'm not sure I know where to look anymore

And we drive off towards the human zoo
just me, a monkey, and a pig
Like some kind of joke without a punch line

I rested my head on the cruiser doors
and chuckled myself
to sleep

[dwells]

Gee whiz Kenny - sounding like you're ready to bay at the moon from the Howard Franklin Bridge or maybe visit a Dale Mabry strip joint (I used to live in Tampa). This was as real as it gets for the reader, and guessing you had a bad run of no luck and only pain. Your scene setting stole the show here, and made it appear as though your reputation precedes you. Baker acted again maybe, sadly, in this gritty slice of life - cheers! - Dan ( she sounds like she's running low on patience). You will quit smoking when you're ready, and not before - I did.

[godsplat]

I feel like I just read the opening scene to a movie, very interesting read!

[JASON]

Clever writing Kenny, this was really good!!
It's as if this poor guy's whole existence is a joke without a punch line.
'imperfect skipping stones' has to be my favourite line
but there are many highlights including the repetition of blowing smoke...
Excellent.

[rupertpupkin]

Very original and clever piece of writing. Loved it. Well done on the spotlight.

[jayn]

"...I tell him I'm trying to do the same:
to find myself in my music and my art,
but that I'm not sure I know where to look anymore"

That's the line that evokes the most for me. Where do we look for ourselves when the structures on which we build our lives collapse?

[inflames]

This is really lovely! Some great lines in here. Congrats on your spotlight.

[Ladywildalice]

Congrats on the spotlight. Seems to be a pretty usual thing for anyone with talent and a dream they are chasing. Those with the money and the power keep us jumping through hoops, chasing our tails, trying, trying, trying to get the music right, the words right, the paint right. We know, inside, what it is we want to express, but have so much trouble getting out. So we drink, we smoke, we stay up all ungodly hours, struggling, giving up any semblance of normalcy. Those who love us end up feeling cheated and un-needed and injured, which makes them even angrier. And they get to a point of just giving up and wanting us gone.
Loved the line about "me, a monkey and a pig" I laughed out loud. When you have a monkey on your back you can't shake, and a policeman hauling you off to jail, you have to just chuckle to yourself don't you. Great job.