White Rabbits

[Mr Goth]

White Rabbits


Once upon the pale land. White clouds that look like white rabbits.
White Rabbits being chased by dreams and farmer john, while
Blue fades to gray. If you listen you can hear them scream.
As the stars refuse to judge and mind their own business

The stars refuse to judge her heart as the porcelain tea cup lay cracked
Cracked like her heart with pieces scattered with the leaves. Where
All her love letter has found an early grave under the solid white tuffs
If the audition is today, she surly is late


Once Upon the pale land. white clouds that ran like white rabbits.
White rabbits that test the storms unyielding furry
Tonight; a beheading as they almost got away as they jumped
Into her mind remembering the time she played the game.

A game of where there was no Red queen and Alice was the villain
A villain that hung her ex-lover’s upside down to drain their purses
Their bodies look like broken toys as their heads marked her reign
Long live the queen as they forecast her to be in the final act

Once upon the pale land. White clouds ran like white rabbits
White rabbits soft with red sweaters as she tosses the knife to the
Heart stained floor. Like a monster the blue pill dissolves her world away
Washing in swirls of the color of death as she was given her stage clothes

Once upon the waste land. White clouds ran like a white rabbit
A White rabbit that no one knows.
Who has a fetish to wear the devil’s clothes

[Dew]

the restatement of "once upon" had a great effect on me. it created a mood of abandoned endeavors and forsaken hopes. the allusions to alice started gently and didn't solidify until the middle which tempted me to accept the alice motif as atmosphere for a real persons experiences. I couldn't help thinking about American McGee's alice and the twisted (more twisted?) take on wonderland...deliciously ominous and I love the toggling between 'dreamy' and 'crapsaccharine' as you unravel the subject...marvy! - dew

[Cedeines]

Complex, this truly has to be read deeply. I would like to see this played out, what a mind bending twist on that old story, visually provoking. And the last two lines, sealed it all up. Great job.

[dwells]

A massive missive Chuck and I wanted to just keep reading along as it ended - but then every poem knows when it's run its course. Uniquely descriptive and a diabolical deviation from the original. I noticed several typos but shall remain mum on that subject since it seems the poet is playing with the reader. This created another expectation as I immersed myself in this pale land - cheers my friend! - Dan

[A.k.ChaosDream]

another twist on wonderland.....hehe greatly enjoyed from start to finish....i liked your personification[?...is a rabbit a person ? why not !] of the clouds and the color usage throughout the piece
great to read your great stories once again
Chuck !
cheers bro
A.
k

[rupertpupkin]

Really enjoyed this one. Well done on the spotlight.

[inflames]

This is really cool! I like this write a lot. thanks for sharing and congrats on the spotlight!

[Kornelia]

You have managed to weave a dark tale in which refferences to ¨¨Alice in wonderland¨¨are hidden. I felt you even used the Jefferson Airplane song to an extend. The wicked queen was quite a character, a very vivid description, much enjoyed.

Kornelia