contagious

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scribble
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contagious

Post by scribble » April 17th, 2016, 7:30 pm

squinting,
something mediocre can regard
an imminent and swollen sky
years from a cleansing rain,
whose feverish pink and gray
threatens to crack
and burst forth my ruin.

its watery eye, obscured by a pulsating heat,
is no longer inviting, or charming in october
where it seems unseasonably ripe
and past its blissful prime.

it shimmers,
wavering sickly as it descends,
spewing forth a frothy red
that paints the trees,
and anything it touches,
with its heavy, toxic breath.

umbrellas are useless:
the threat from above
reflects in silvery pavement
and wriggles its slippery way
up clothing, into airways,
everywhere
in the falsely cheerful artifice
of bright lights dancing
illusory before my hapless vision.

if only i had seen the hazard sooner,
i would have invented better armor,
or stayed forever in peaceful quarantine;
but i have chosen
to run the risk of my baser instincts,
and ultimately, exposure.

it’s not that i would rather be infected,
or be painted forever
with the blood-tinged banner ‘pestilence,’
it’s just that i, now choiceless, must forever live
beneath an oppressive dying sky
that is now utterly, and explicitly apparent.





**I just rediscovered this poem I wrote over ten years ago and it's eerie how well is captures how I'm feeling now!


"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

Sarah Williams

dwells
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Re: contagious

Post by dwells » April 20th, 2016, 11:14 am

A superb and smothering sensation of the enveloping doom and gloom that seems to cover all like a cloak. You set a diabolical stage and a very real choice to either participate, or observe from a distance. I really ate this one up - well done and cheers! - Dan


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JASON
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Re: contagious

Post by JASON » April 25th, 2016, 7:10 am

The use of double adjectives and adverbs makes this descriptive, rich writing...
The metaphor is wonderfully intertwined in this poem.
A great read! congrats on the light :thumb:



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candlewitch
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Re: contagious

Post by candlewitch » April 29th, 2016, 10:46 am

hello,

I agree completely with the comments of the others! and in the ten years since you wrote this, it hasn't lost its bite!!!

always, Cat


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Josie
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Re: contagious

Post by Josie » April 29th, 2016, 3:31 pm

Your poem makes me think of the Chernobyl disaster of 1986 and the
nuclear event following the earthquake and tsunami in Japan 2011.
Like Pandora, once the contents of the container were allowed to escape, mankind must deal with the contagious properties those contents had.
We take risks and sometimes we have to pay a price, whether it is a matter of love or war, or other human endeavors.
My favorite verse:
if only i had seen the hazard sooner,
i would have invented better armor,
or stayed forever in peaceful quarantine;
but i have chosen
to run the risk of my baser instincts,
and ultimately, exposure.

Congratulations on TPS recognition.
Josie


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continuation
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Re: contagious

Post by continuation » April 30th, 2016, 4:19 pm

This is absolutely captivating and gripping to the end! I love the unconventional metaphors and imagery that you used here. The language was so fluid and the voice was very original. Congrats on the well-deserved spotlight!
Quin



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