Maelstrom

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Ona Sabela
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Maelstrom

Post by Ona Sabela » July 20th, 2016, 10:39 pm

Tears fall with silent abandon,
swallowed up
in the turbulent seas
that hurl me about.
Drowning in shame,
my cries are sinking
into the waves;
my feeble attempts
to push away the guilt,
to keep my head above
the roiling waters,
dashed away with every
stinging lash of wind.
As I slip beneath the surface,
a small beam of light breaks
through the angry clouds;
yet it is too late.
Though I reach out my hands,
sorrowfully, bitterly,
still downward I drift;
I am devoured by the deep.


Imagination is the salt and pepper of the mind. - O

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moe
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Re: Maelstrom

Post by moe » July 20th, 2016, 11:44 pm

Like Alice through the rabbit hole, into blackness and endless gravity pulling the persona downward a glimpse of light then nothingness. I suppose we all go through this feeling of forever falling, I know that I have. However you have described it in a new , fresh way and I liked that!



dwells
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Re: Maelstrom

Post by dwells » July 22nd, 2016, 4:56 pm

Sheesh OS and here's a snorkel! An extended metaphor with a healthy dose of claustrophobia maybe.
This was suffocating in its totality, and I might be wrong but feel compelled to say that the human mind can be the supreme torturer. It only means you have a soul. So rejoice, because so many today do not. Cheers! - Dan


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Ona Sabela
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Re: Maelstrom

Post by Ona Sabela » July 22nd, 2016, 9:48 pm

Thank you, moe, Dan for your insightful comments!


Imagination is the salt and pepper of the mind. - O

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Jovel320
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Re: Maelstrom

Post by Jovel320 » March 26th, 2018, 6:50 am

Enjoyed reading your poem. As one who loves to write about the sea and water, your poem showed extreme pain at its peak and a focus of self. Well done and thanks for sharing!!!



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Ona Sabela
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Re: Maelstrom

Post by Ona Sabela » May 12th, 2018, 9:37 pm

Thankyou, Jovel320!


Imagination is the salt and pepper of the mind. - O

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