When droplets deepen (sonnet)
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You're dancing barefoot in the morning dew
to lose yourself in nature's waking call.
The gardens freshness seems to breathe through you
and spiders spin their webs lest you should fall.
Your open lips sip moisture from the flowers
that bow their heads before they take your hand.
Soft pastels brought to life by summer showers
set free the captured eyes that watch you stand.
This moment breaks on noises in the street
you turn your smile and see me move away.
The paving stones are patterned by damp feet
that follow me to arms that hold your sway.
Again the window tastes the tap of rain;
our first embrace adds colour to the frame.
to lose yourself in nature's waking call.
The gardens freshness seems to breathe through you
and spiders spin their webs lest you should fall.
Your open lips sip moisture from the flowers
that bow their heads before they take your hand.
Soft pastels brought to life by summer showers
set free the captured eyes that watch you stand.
This moment breaks on noises in the street
you turn your smile and see me move away.
The paving stones are patterned by damp feet
that follow me to arms that hold your sway.
Again the window tastes the tap of rain;
our first embrace adds colour to the frame.
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
lovely end couplet...the ending can doom or save any sonnet. nice volta also ripping us out of fantasy and stamping us to reality. very nice
:Dew
:Dew
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
Many thanks Dew very pleased you like the sonnet I don't write many as I find them very difficult, I always struggle with unforced rhymes and nailing the volta...so difficult. Thanks again, keithDew wrote:lovely end couplet...the ending can doom or save any sonnet. nice volta also ripping us out of fantasy and stamping us to reality. very nice
:Dew
- shays1
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
It's a holiday here and poring rain, very fitting mood to delve into your sonnet. Cosy inside while the "window tastes the tap of rain", nice thoughts. Well done.
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
Sorry its raining on the holidays, thanks for taking the time to read and comment hope the weather improved.Keithshays1 wrote:It's a holiday here and poring rain, very fitting mood to delve into your sonnet. Cosy inside while the "window tastes the tap of rain", nice thoughts. Well done.
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
The morning dew - and you. Nicely done Keith, and I think my blood pressure just went down 20 points. Cheers! - Dan
- tangerinepie
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
An enchanting sonnet, that flows with ease and visions of tranquility.The wording is graceful and adds warmth..Most enjoyable..Tangie..
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
Hey Tangie, you are very kind, really appreciate your comments and kind words. Best Keithtangerinepie wrote:An enchanting sonnet, that flows with ease and visions of tranquility.The wording is graceful and adds warmth..Most enjoyable..Tangie..
- sparky21737
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
I loved the couplet at the end. Well I liked the whole piece but those lines were just awesome. Nice piece and well written. Thanks for sharing
Sparky
Sparky
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light ~ Albus Dumbledore
Sparky's Poetry
Sparky's Poetry
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
You poem is like taking a refreshing walk in the garden. Its best in the morning and you've captured that time very well. Your sonnet is in iambic pentameter and that makes me believe you're a true wordsmith.
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
I enjoyed this very much, it painted a picture of a beautiful morning, leaving one refreshed and feeling blessed, thanks for sharing, may God bless
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- tangerinepie
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
A beautiful spotlight choice, more than well deserved.I enjoyed reading it again and reliving the magic..Tangie..
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Re: When droplets deepen (sonnet)
To all who have commented sorry I'm so late getting back to this but I though it had finished. I really appreciate all the kind comments and really humbled that this one made the spotlight. Many thanks Keith