Him (CW: s. assault)

[Miya]

And I see him in someone's sideways smirk,
someone's endless brown eyes,
someone's smile when they laugh.
I see him in the room where we watched movies all night,
I see him where we fought to the death at foosball,
I see him when I drive past the place
where it happened.
I see him every time someone gets
a little too close,
a little too fast.
I see him when someone grabs my wrist, and all I can do
is remember the way he held mine down.
I see him when someone kisses me, and I can't breathe because
what if they don't stop.
What if I look up,
and it's those same brown eyes,
what if it's his hands holding me down,
what if it's his voice in my ear, whispering,
"Don't you trust me?"

I see him every time I close my eyes.
Around every corner, in every stranger,
in faded memories with sharp edges.
And all I can do, is wonder how long it will be
until his tough, his face, his memory
will finally fade from my life.

[INFPoet]

Ouch - this is full of pain. I can't imagine being in the narrator's (your?) shoes. Having been assaulting has got to be one of the hardest things to have to live with - this poem really drives that home!

"Faded memories with sharp edges" is a really good way to describe painful memories. I admire people who are able to craft pieces of vivid imagery, and I very much like that one.

~INFPoet

[Chelle]

very serious subject matter and rightly so. trauma never really goes away. it can take a long time to fade from muscle memory and your thoughts. you think youre okay and then you forget. and one thing can set you off. I wish you the best and hope your recovery is fast.

[SilentTears]

This hit me pretty personally. You did an horrifyingly accurate job of describing how it feels. It's a haunting and hopeless feeling. It's exaughsting and painful. Very well put and very well done.

It does get better, it does get easier. Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking.

[rupertpupkin]

Harsh but wonderful write. Well done on a well deserved spotlight