Lost Opportunity

[UlfvarrOT]

Lost Opportunity
~~

I walk in a solemn stone garden,
Where the softest of hearts do harden,
Deep underground the nameless dead,
Flowers at their feet, stone at their head,
The dead do not rest in the sweet night,
They toss and turn in a frightful plight,
And all of their blood is on my hands,
For reasons no other understands,
Now I must live in deep blue regret,
And I cannot pay eternal debt.

[dwells]

Thanks for sharing this introspective piece Ulf and good to hear from you again. We all have burdens to bear, and only those men of conscience are bothered by what has been done, or left undone. A conscience is made to torture and torment, and needs be constrained lest it drive us to madness at times; but be thankful if you have one - it makes you human, cheers! - Dan

[Dew]

the rhyme and meter really served you well in this poem...sometimes it feels forced or takes from the message but in this write you employed it entirely to your favor! I really liked "I walk in a solemn stone garden, Where the softest of hearts do harden". I was totally impressed with how your dark theme and format worked together seamlessly..awesome! - dew

[jim_moonan]

I can only guess at where this stone garden is and why you are responsible... Is it depression? The mood of this is so dark! I like the couplets... You could do away with the last couplet and it would feel just as strong if not stronger.

[Inconclusive]

Great poem. I am a fan of rhyming in poetry and it's not easy to do. Well done.

[seraph1420]

As much as I appreciate having regrets, they also kill you deep inside. Feels like work left undone and it's so hard to move on.

Congrats on the Spotlight!

Seraph

[falstaff]

If I might be so bold, This reminds me of when I went out on a drunk with my son who served in Iraq, and had to hear all the stories of the children he for some reason or another had to kill, The heartbreak will live long in his heart forever, and me the the clueless "Gringo" will always be hard pressed to understand, and in this comfortable life won't care.

Congrats on this spotlight- Falstaff.

[Ladywildalice]

It is hard for anyone who has not be touched by death dressed in blame and responsibility, whether aptly so or not, to know what fathomless blackness it creates inside. This was terribly painful, touching, human, and touching. Very well presented. Congrats on the spotlight for this well deserving write.

[BarryC]

simply haunting and profoundly moving

[Josie]

I like the rhyming because it helps to create the haunting mood. The message was very dark with Narrator burdened with regret and feeling that he/she was responsible for the nameless dead. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[TheRaven97]

Wonderful imagery here. We all carry sins - don't be afraid to ask for help when they begin weighing too heavily.