The River of Dreams
Rushing blue water erodes my soul
Taking what's important to me,
Taking what's important about me.
I can see them,
My talents,
My passions,
My friends,
My family,
And the one I once loved.
There she was
Drowning in that river.
Gasping for air, I hear her cry.
Help!
Help!
But it wasn't her cry
It wasn't her cry at all.
It was mine.
I see her looking down.
Looking down as if to say "I told you so".
Because I was the one drowning in that river,
Drowning in what I thought made me me,
Drowning in the River of Dreams.
The River of Dreams
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Sasha
- Elite Member
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- Joined: April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
Re: The River of Dreams
Wow! That's beautiful!
I love the nature elements here and how you made them something of your own. And like before the river passes by you, it held that load of memories, or better to say a piece of you, but the day came and took them all the moment you was near it and you couldn't grasp any.
Very nice work! I very much like it, and Welcome to TPS!
Sash
I love the nature elements here and how you made them something of your own. And like before the river passes by you, it held that load of memories, or better to say a piece of you, but the day came and took them all the moment you was near it and you couldn't grasp any.
Very nice work! I very much like it, and Welcome to TPS!
Sash
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ladylilith
- Elite Member
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Re: The River of Dreams
Some really striking imagery at work here. I love the idea of the river.. Like a metaphor for life almost, how it can just sweep you up and whisk you away downstream.. I also like how it all flips on the speaker, how they suddenly become the victim of the 'river of dreams'. Really great OM work, thanks for sharing it!
Lily^^
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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katana
- Regular Member
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- Joined: September 15th, 2012, 6:40 pm
Re: The River of Dreams
Wow. Amazing idea... the picture you painted was very well done.Especially because this was written at the spot.I hadn't realized how difficult OM is untill I tried it so well done for creating such a good piece. :)
“I turned silences and nights into words. What was unutterable, I wrote down. I made the whirling world stand still.” ― Arthur Rimbaud,
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katana
- Regular Member
- Posts: 129
- Joined: September 15th, 2012, 6:40 pm
Re: The River of Dreams
Wow. Amazing idea... the picture you painted was very well done.Especially because this was written at the spot.I hadn't realized how difficult OM is untill I tried it so well done for creating such a good piece. :)
“I turned silences and nights into words. What was unutterable, I wrote down. I made the whirling world stand still.” ― Arthur Rimbaud,
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tangerinepie
- Elite Member
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- Joined: April 18th, 2012, 10:42 pm
- Location: The North Shore
Re: The River of Dreams
I liked your concept and how you created the mood so easily.It was well done..TY..T..
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Morning Star
- Regular Member
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- Location: Calabasas, California
- Contact:
Re: The River of Dreams
And after we drown, what's left is what is true about us--without all those things that we use to define us.
--Just my take on things :)
Anyway,
I thought your poem was a very poignant expression of that experience of loss, of what we feel is important.
Beautifully and most powerfully expressed. :)
--Just my take on things :)
Anyway,
I thought your poem was a very poignant expression of that experience of loss, of what we feel is important.
Beautifully and most powerfully expressed. :)
Morning Star
(Sally Jordan Austin)
(Sally Jordan Austin)
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CarolynKleefeld
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Re: The River of Dreams
Powerful words, beautifully expressed; insightfully and creatively composed-- much enjoyed.
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rupertpupkin
- Moderator
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- Joined: April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am
