ash

[Lortimer]

and when the last gasp of sunshine is,
coaxed from the ash
cutting through the winter smog

it'll shine on the last clover
choking on the dirty snow
and burnt flesh

they'll wonder the world
bound in rags and bones
eating, dreaming, eating

each other
loving
each other

the summer dresses, and fields of wheat
are all torn down, the brooks and trees
are all gone

metal skyscrapers will pierce
the sky,
and the cracked concrete

will drown the world in gray
and man will hunger, and man will thirst
in a sepia colored filter

and when the last gasp of sunshine is,
coaxed from the ash
cutting through the winter smog

it'll shine on the last man
choking on his tears
alone

[Jovel320]

I like the apocalyptic nature of this piece and your construction enables it to move smoothly.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Jovel

[godsplat]

Hello Lortimer, I really like the metaphors and imagery in this poem, well done indeed!

[Baywriter]

I really like this one a lot. I thought it was especially unique for a nature piece. Most of all, the imagery was fantastic here, especially combined with the subtle and hypnotic repetition you included because the repetition made the imagery of the poem feel hypnotic as well (did that make sense?). This bit here is what I'm referring to: "eating, dreaming, eating/ each other/ loving/ each other." Powerful writing. Great job.

Bay

[jwesley]

Wonderful piece, my friend . . . especially liked the way you ended it . . . perfectly done, but open for more.

j.

[dornicks]

Chilling ,but nonetheless effective in it's message. A good write worthy of the spotlight,

dornicks

[peterandrewday]

Initially this well-crafted piece put me in mind of 'In The Year 2525' by Zagger and Evans, a hit from way back in the Sixties. Just like that song, your poem combines lyrical intensity with facts about the world and realistic possibilities for its future; this creates a tone of 'compassionate prophecy'. I hope passionately the world's outcome as here described will be proven wrong, yet I fear just as intensely it may be right. The quality of your work here makes 'The Spotlight' well-deserved.

[inflames]

This poem is very dark… and lovely. I adore this. Beautiful work! And congrats on your spotlight!

[dwells]

Presaging a nuclear winter perhaps Lortimer with a postscript for civilization. A starkly foreboding and ignominious ending that was ignored until it arrived and could no longer be, cheers and congrats on the Spotlight!