Almost there

[Rainman]

The crows came back this winter,
damaged, and limping home in twos and threes.
Heavy birds.
Undertakers, and slow of foot now,
huddled, and weary as tilted stone.
They are grown old, these outcast children,
soon to lie unmourned and nettle-deep
in frowns of earth and twig.
Soon to rest, and lay the guilty weight
of human burdens down.
There is a cornfield in that yellow stare,
it waits beyond the turning season.
Blameless as the summer day.

[ladylilith]

I love this. I've had a soft spot for crow imagery since reading Hughes' 'Crow' poems, but this is something altogether different, and engaging, and so so SO good for an Open Mic piece. It makes me want to do better. :)

Strong, compelling work. I'm going to come back to this.

Lily^^

[tetti2]

The last three line I love the feeling about them, def a poem I would like to read time and time again

[dornicks]

You have some really good lines to enhance the quality of this piece,from the first 'caw' to the last. An enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[Jim]

The imagery created line by line has me feeling the aches and pains
Of mortality

One to remember

[JASON]

what a class act,this was solid.
in frowns of earth and twig,in that yellow stare.
great descriptive,imaginative lines.

[Sasha]

I don't know why, but this takes my mind to the heart of a battlefield, with crows as soldiers coming back, drained from war that's soon to be revived some other time. There's some stellar metaphors and similes here, and even this shows a great usage of extended metaphor, and I'm a big fan of extended metaphor and especially when it's employed in a striking way, like this one.

Sash

[search81]

Crows get such a bbad rap. Whether were talkimg about real crows or soldiers, it was very well written.

[jim_moonan]

Nice poem!
Crows are the "everyman" of the bird kingdom, and so you are speaking for us, everyman, when you say,

"They are grown old, these outcast children,
soon to lie unmourned and nettle-deep
in frowns of earth and twig.
Soon to rest, and lay the guilty weight
of human burdens down."

Loved the sombre mood.I feel this mood often and find comfort in it.

[jim_moonan]

One more thing - Love the title.

[dornicks]

Congratulations on the Spotlight. I liked this on my first read and even more today,

dornicks

[dwells]

The harbingers of human misery perhaps personified. 'Young outcasts grown old and burdened, with that yellowed cornfield stare' that unapologetically awaits. More of a feeling here than a known outcome 'in frowns of earth and twig'. And that feeling is one of finality for a thankless task borne and lived. Congrats on the Spotlight RM and well-deserved!

[sparky21737]

Congrats on a well deserved spotlight. You have created some beautiful imagery here, thanks for sharing

Sparky

[Josie]

The mood was somber and resigned to the acceptance of mortality, but then there was the upturn in your final lines:
There is a cornfield in that yellow stare,
it waits beyond the turning season.
Blameless as the summer day.
Crows like cornfields and I can imagine crows would like a cornfield in their after life experience.
Thanks for sharing and congratulations.

[jsol]

Extremely well done. I enjoyed this greatly and was truly captivated by its depth.

[everhopeful]

A really nice use of the traditional associations with crows here as a bringer of death, taking on a bitterly ironic twist as they slowly succumb to age and the impending reaper themselves. I think what is most impressive about this is how you don't force the issue, there's nothing pretty about this, just a grim irony and life's cycle in effect, with perhaps a nod of appreciation to the misunderstood who serve a place among society, whether it's the animal kingdom of the human one.
And it was OM too! Double kudos for that, and congratulations on the spotlight!

[rupertpupkin]

Really loved the imagery in this. A very deserving spotlight for this wonderful poem, well done, Sean.

[Philip16]

I am reminded by your poem of how the ravages of time respect no man...or species.
I know a man who is "almost there" and he does look as "weary as tilted stone" and at
times has that "stare". I thank you for the last 3 lines. They kept me from being crushed!
Congrats on the Spotlight!
Philip16

[BuddingFlower]

Immensely beautiful! I love the contrast between the "guilty weight of human burdens" and the blameless summer day!